One can become a good and true Muslim only when one also observes faithfully the social code of Islam by which we mean the rules and regulations governing the modes and manners of behaviour between man and man and man and society as laid down by it. Islam has provided us with a most precise and complete guidance on how are we to fulfill our social responsibilities and act in our dealings and relationships with all those individuals and groups with whom we come into contact, one way or the other, in the different walks of our daily life. The purpose of life as understood by the believing Muslim can be simply stated in only two (2) words: Obey Allah. The most primary relationship in this world exists between man and his parents. In Islam the rights of parents have been described as next only to the rights of God. To quote from the Quran: The Lord has ordained that ye worship none but Him; and to show kindness to your parents whether one or both of them attain to old age with thee; and say not to them “Fie!” neither reproach them; but speak to them both with respectful speech; and defer humbly to them out of tenderness; and say, “Lord! have compassion on them both, even as they reared me when I was little.” (XVII: 22-24) Another verse of the Holy Quran goes on to tell that should the parents of a person be polytheists and want him also to follow their faith, he ought to decline to obey them, but even then he should continue to treat them well and to behave towards them with respect. To disobey one’s parents (other than religious affairs), to ignore their feelings, or to disregard their comfort or happiness in any other way has been characterized by the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) as a grievous sin. Once a person enquired from the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh), “What are the rights of parents? ” The Holy Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) replied, “Parents are the heaven and hell of their children (meaning that salvation and paradise could be gained by serving one’s parents well while disobedience to and ill-treatment of them could lead one to hell.)”
The Prophet (Pbuh) once said. “Every time a dutiful son or daughter looks with affection and respect towards his or her father or mother Allah writes against his or her name the reward of an approved Hajj,” Upon this, some of the Companions enquired, “Our Master! Suppose a person does so a hundred times each day, while he, even then, be given the reward of an approved Hajj for every glance he casts? ” “Yes”, the Prophet replied, “God is Most Great, Most Holy (meaning that the bounty of the Lord is boundless).” “Heaven lies under the feet of the parents.” The Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) once said to the Companions that the most mortal sins in the world were three: “To associate anyone with Allah, to disobey parents, and to give false evidence.” Islam has laid an equal stress on the rights of children on parents also. We will leave out here the responsibility of parents to feed and clothe their children since there is found in them an instinctive awareness of it and they carry it out normally and in the natural way.
The rights of our children about which we are generally careless and neglectful are those concerning their moral and religious training and up-bringing. Islam has made it minding on us, as a matter of duty that we brought up our wards and children in such a way that they did not have to make their way to hell after death. We are required to be extremely careful in this respect. Says the Quran: O ye who believe! save yourselves And your families from the Fire of Hell. (LXVI: 6) The holy Prophet (Pbuh) has, in a Tradition, stressed the need of giving proper training to children in these words: “No better gift can there be from a father to his children than the he brought them up properly.” Conjugal relationship occupies a place of outstanding importance in the economy of human affairs. It is a most strong and intimate tie that binds husband and wife into a life-long partnership. Islam therefore, has furnished a complete guidance in respect of it as well. Some people ignorant of Islam are influenced by what is relentlessly propagated by the media, movies and TV serials, day and night, thinking that a marriage will not be successful unless it is based on a pre-marital relationship between the young couple to achieve perfect harmony between them and secure a successful marital life. This leads to great corruption and grave crimes as well as the violation of sanctities and honor.
In a study carried out by Cairo University, about what it called “love marriage” and “traditional marriage”, the number of successful marriages in the so-called traditional marriage is six times more than love marriages. [Risaalah Ila Mu’minah] This study is confirmed by another similar one carried out by Syracuse University in the U.S. The study indicates beyond doubt that love or passion is not a guarantee for a successful marriage; rather, it often leads to failure. Allah The Exalted Says (what means): And of His Signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. [Quran 30: 21] The true relationship between spouses is based on affection and mercy, not on ardent love, desire and passion. How knowledgeable was ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab , may Allaah be pleased with him, when he addressed women and said, “If one of you does not love her husband, she should not tell him about this, because only a few homes are based on love; rather, people live together by virtue of good morals and Islam.” Nevertheless, this does not mean that we call to neglect emotions between spouses or bury feelings and sentiments between them. The Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, gave us the best example of loving his wives. In a nutshell, Islam demands from wives to be scrupulously faithful to their husbands and to remain their best friends and true well wisher and never to betray their trusts.
The Quran declares: Therefore, the righteous women are Obedient, and guard (in the husband’s) absence. (IV: 34) And from husbands it requires that they should give of their love ungrudgingly to their wives, maintain them as best as they can within their means and leave nothing to be desired by way of their emotional contentment. Prophet (Pbuh) used to urge upon Muslim husbands and wives to keep each other happy and to attend to each other’s needs and interests with loving care. Some of his Traditions in this connection read: “The woman who dies in such a state that her husband is pleased with her shall go to Heaven.” “By the Lord in whose power lies the life of Mohammad (Pbuh), no woman can fulfill the rights of God who does not fulfill the rights of her husbands.” A woman of good manners is a blessing from Allah. When she speaks, she speaks honorably, when she deals with others she deals with them kindly. She is polite with elders, loving to children, and good to her fellow folks. It is related by ‘Abdullah bin Amr (R.A) that the Prophet (Pbuh) said: “The best of you are those who possess the best of manners.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari and Muslim) “He is the most perfect believer (in God) who is perfect in his manners and most affectionate towards his wife and children.” Besides our parents and children and husbands or wives there also exists a special tie of kinship between us and our other relatives. Islam has paid due attention to this aspect of our social existence, too, and evolved certain rights and duties in respect to it. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) once said, “He who violates the rights of kinsmen and shows no respect for the bonds of kinship in his conduct shall not go to heaven.”
It is a general principal of Islamic social behaviour that everyone should respect his elder and carry himself with due deference in their presence. In the same way, those who are older are required to treat those who are younger to them with kindness and affection, even if there be no relationship between them. Said the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh): “He is not of us who is not affectionate to those who are younger than himself and respect to those who are older.” “For the young man who will honour an old man because of his years God will appoint men who will honour him in his old age.” Apart from relatives, there obtains a permanent association also between a man and his neighbours. The Quran calls upon us to be good and courteous in our behaviour towards our neighbour in the same way as it has commanded us to maintain the best of conduct towards our parents, brothers and sisters and towards our other near relatives: Holy Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) said: “He who believes in Allah and the Day of Recompense will never harm his neighbour.” “He is not a Muslim who eats his fill and lets his neighbour go hungry.” In addition to these, Islam has conferred certain special rights on the weaker and the poorer sections of the society and on every kind of a needy person. It has been made the duty of all well-to-do people to look after their well-being and to serve them in whatever way they can.
The more prosperous among Muslims should realize that their less fortunate brethren, too, have a share in their wealth and other capabilities. The Quran has enjoined at a number of places that the needs of the orphans, the weak and the indigent and other needy and destitute persons should be taken care of, the hungry should be fed, the ill-clad should be clothed, and, so on. “Help the distressed and be a guide to those who have lost their way.” No distinction has been drawn in the above Traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) between a Muslim and a none-Muslim. All poor and needy persons have a claim on us no matter to what religion they belong. We cannot withhold our helping hand from anyone on the ground that he is not a co-religionist. In some Traditions, the Prophet (Pbuh) has exhorted us to show kindness also to animals and promised great reward to those who take pity on these dumb creatures of the Lord. Islam, truly, is a blessing to the entire universe and the whole of creation, and our guide and master, Prophet Mohammad (Peace be upon whom), “a mercy to the worlds.” The pity is that we ourselves have wandered away from his teachings. Would to God that we, too, became a mercy to the whole world by becoming true Muslims.
Further, there is a special claim of Muslims on each-other which flows out of the common bond of Islam. Said the Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh): “Every Muslim is a Muslim’s brother. He should neither harm him himself nor leave him alone (when someone else does so but try his best to help him and to protect him). Whoever among you will fulfill the need of his brother God will take it upon Himself to fluffing his needs, and a Muslim who will remove the distress of a Muslim brother will, in, return find a distress of his removed by God on the Day of Requital, and anyone who will hide the shame of a Muslim, his sins will be hidden by God on the Last Day.” “Do not bear a grudge or enmity against each other, do not be jealous of each-other, and do not indulge in backbiting.” “Live like brothers and the servants of One God. It is not allowed to a Muslim to cease to be on talking terms with a Muslim for more than three days.” “The life, honour and property of a Muslim are sacred for another.” We close the present discussion on social relations and mutual rights and duties with the following Tradition, which alone is enough to fill our hearts with love of Islam. The Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) is reported one day to have put the question to the Companion, “Who is a pauper?” The Companions replied, “Our master! A pauper is a person who is without a penny of his own.” The Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh) said, “No, A pauper among us is a man who will appear on the Day of Recompense with a large stock of prayers, fasting and alms-giving but in the world he would have abused someone, slandered someone, beaten someone and cheated and transgressed against someone. When he will be made to stand at the Place of Reckoning those against whom he would have been guilty of these transgressions will come forward and they will be given from his good deeds what will be due to them till al the fund of his good deeds will be exhausted and, then, the sins of the aggrieved parties will be forced down upon him and he will, ultimately, be thrown into Hell.” Brothers and Sisters, Ponder over this Tradition and think how utterly ruinous and disastrous it is for us to encroach upon the right of others and to indulge in back-biting, slander of abuse. If you have transgressed against anyone or usurped his rights, make amends for it in your lifetime, pay back to him what may be his due or seek his forgiveness, and resolve sincerely to be careful in future otherwise it is going to cost you very dear in the life to come. May Allah guide us all towards true path. _____ Ameen!
