Dowry, treated as subvert to wedlock

Dr Sheikh Arshid Ahmad
Dowry refers to the durable goods, cash or an estate given to the bridegroom or his parents at the time of marriage. It is treated as a condition in the matrimonial contract that is given when the bride is leaving her house with her husband. The dowry includes some other essential things also such as electrical appliances, furniture, bedding, crockery, utensils, vehicles and other household items. The dowry is used as an asset to newly wedding couple in their home to manage all household affairs. Dowry system is followed in India since a very long time. It was treated as a valid system but now- a- days it leads to issues and problems. The idea of giving dowry was that parents want their daughter would have stable and strong life. Now the dowry system is creating problems in the society, especially in Kashmir poor parents suffer a lot that they are not able to get their daughters married as they cannot afford to give dowry. In these cases, the dowry system is creating violence and leads to crime against women, ranging from emotional abuse and injury to even deaths. Moreover the women are being misused and they remain educationally backward and treated as inferior to men. This creating mess and negative environment and at times they go for infanticide when their conflicts get deeper and deeper. The payment of dowry has been prohibited under specific Indian laws including the Dowry Prohibition Act, 1961 and subsequently by Sections 304B and 498A of the Indian Penal Code. Dowry in the sense of the expression contemplated by Dowry Prohibition Act is a demand for property of valuable security having an inextricable nexus with the marriage, i.e., it is a consideration from the side of the bride’s parents or relatives to the groom or his parents and/or guardian for the agreement to wed the bride-to-be. Although Indian laws against dowries have been in effect for decades, they have been largely criticised as being ineffective. The fall out of this practice of dowry is that number of deaths and murders continue to take place and in many parts of India and in Kashmir this has also deep concerns and still it remains unchecked.
Causes of the dowry: Various reasons have been suggested as cause of dowry practice in kashmir are as:
Fixed in the shade of tradition: Dowry is related to marital tradition that comes from the last few decades, it has many economic and societal issues in the society and every body thinks that it is a mandatory contribution towards the system of dowry. Parents who have money or not but they practise the act of dowry from since many years back and to remain in the way of such tradition every parent is induced to give dowry to bride at the time marriage.
To give financial security to bride:Dowry aims economic and financial security to the bride after marriage at in -laws house . This helps to prevent deadlock in her wedlock with the husband and prevent the bride from becoming disreputable among in- laws members.This system can also be used to satisfy the needs of groom in his family affairs and can become fruitful to their progeny also.
Vehment and selfish desire of groom: Before wedding groom forgets he is a protector and maintainer of women demands dowry from his in- laws after expressing his own importance in the society such as of having job, big business, property etc so in laws come under this pressure so they give dowry to demand of groom and these are being discussed before the matrimonial contract.
Willingness of parents: Parents wish to give dowry to satisfy the needs of bride and raise her reputation in the in- laws house as these brides have broughtup luxuriously at parental house so to keep her luxuriant life continue after her wedlock parents give their daughter with dowry.
To project reputation in public: Parents give dowry to their bride at the time of marriage this can give a kind of reputed motif in the society and then people often use to say about this dowry show casing and reputation.
Uneducated family: Uneducated family more often do this malpractice of dowry as compared to educated families and actually they don’t know about its lethal consequences and keeping few things in mind they give dowry to their daughters.
Ignorant about anti- dowry laws: Maximum number of people don’t know about the anti- dowry laws and frequenly they are involved in recieving and giving dowry. If they come to know about these stringent laws they will refrain from doing this anti social activity.
Social factors: In the society the women are treated as subordinates and always remain under the guidance and surveillance of their husband. They are not usually so educated and can’t decide their future what could be right or wrong and their life always remains dependent upon their husband. To conceal the subordinate and sinking image of women their parents feel it mandatory to give dowry to brides in order to save her matrimonial career.
In Islam goal of marriage is celebrated as a divine relation and benefits both the partners follow Islamic manners of wedlock and enjoying equal opportunity without any sign of unhappiness and trifles. In this relation the groom must adhere to the Islamic injection to treat and honour his wife well and appears a something special to the husband.
Religious factor: Dowry in India is not limited to any specific religion It is widespread among muslims and other religions. Muslims call dowry as jahez which involve the valuable goods, clothes, jewelry, an amount of money for the groom’s family, which is settled on after bargaining that exceeds far which is in the norms of “Mahr” that Sharia religious law requires. Dowry in current is considered a major cause of violence against women these include physical violence, emotional abuses and even murder of brides and young girls prior to marriage. These violence’s caused due to their parents are not able to give enough dowry with their bride, they fail to give dowry after it was discussed in the matrimonial contract or totally they fail to fulfill the offer of groom. These results dowry crimes relate to cruelty (which includes torture and harassment), domestic violence (including physical, emotional and sexual assault), abetment to suicide and dowry death (including, issues of bride burning and murder). Married women then usually become target for dowry related violence as without giving dowry or fail to give it on right time these women are not feeling comfortable as they are looking tied up with their husband economically and socially only. Not only this dowry is used as a threat or hostage type situation, in order to extract more property from the bride’s family and most importantly new brides become vulnerable in the situation and bride’s family has left no choice to give more dowry to protect their daughter. Kashmir, reports the number of dowry related deaths not only this brides have to go for abortions as their husbands don’t want to carry this matrimonial career after less expectancy of receiving the dowry. In Islam marriage offers tranquility to the soul and peace of mind so that man and woman may live together in an atmosphere of love, mercy, harmony, co-operation, mutual advice and tolerance and lay the foundation of for raising a muslim family in a nurturing, sound environment. The Holy Quran says that “ And among His signs is this ,that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts; verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”(Quran 30: 21). The groom is not an arrogant or haughty hands over to the bride a sum of money called “Maher” (dower) which is a token of his willing acceptance of the responsibility of bearing all necessary expenses of his wife. It is a kind of security, to please the woman’s heart, to honour her, doesn’t oppress her and even mistreats her. It is also to bring a positive change to end what was done in the days of Ignorance wherein she was wronged, exploited, despised and robbed of her wealth. The dower is a right exclusively for the wife. It is her possession and none of her guardians or relatives may share any part of it. No one has any power over her concerning how she wishes to dispose of it. She may give it away as a gift, she may lend it to others or she may give it in charity or do any other permissible acts she wishes with it. Therefore, in Islam goal of marriage is celebrated as a divine relation and benefits both the partners follow Islamic manners of wedlock and enjoying equal opportunity without any sign of unhappiness and trifles. In this relation the groom must adhere to the Islamic injection to treat and honour his wife well and appears a something special to the husband.
(The author a research scholar writes regularly on social and religious issues. Views are his own, [email protected])