The Way to Overcome Fear of Failure

Have you ever been so afraid of failing at something that you decided not to try at all? Or has fear of failure meant that, subconsciously, you undermined your own efforts to avoid the possibility of a larger failure? Many of us have probably experienced this at one time or another. The fear of failing can be immobilizing – it can cause us to do nothing, and therefore resist moving forward. But when we allow fear to stop our forward progress in life, we’re likely to miss some great opportunities along the way.
What Causes the Fear of Failure? To find the causes of fear of failure, we first need to understand what “failure” actually means. We all have different definitions of failure, simply because we all have different benchmarks, values, and belief systems. A failure to one person might simply be a great learning experience for someone else. A fear of failure makes people reluctant to try their hand at something more challenging, which leads to stagnation. Still, there is another category of people willing to test their luck, skills, and capabilities to become more successful. They are not afraid of making mistakes. Neither are they afraid of dealing with the consequences of their failures. You have no idea how many opportunities people tend to miss every day on the account of the fear of failure. We also don’t ask for a promotion because we’re not sure we’ll handle new challenges and responsibilities. What if we make a mistake? What if we won’t be able to live up to somebody’s expectations? A fear of failure paralyses us both physically and spiritually. It prevents us from revealing our potential. It undermines our self-confidence and hinders our personal and professional development. If you feel a fear of failure is a considerable obstacle in your way to success, it’s high time you started overcoming it.
Why We Fear? Prior to finding what makes us dread failure, we need to understand what “failure” is. Psychologists emphasize that different people tend to define and treat failure differently. Some don’t give up and continue pursuing their goals after experiencing failure. For such people, failure is not something that testifies to their unworthiness, but a powerful motivator was encouraging them to move forward. Still, there are those who feel deeply frustrated and reluctant to act as soon as they realise something went wrong. Failure has a devastating impact on such people. With time, the fear of failure doesn’t go away – on the contrary, it gets stronger and finally starts manipulating us into adopting a life-long risk-averse strategy, which leaves no room for development. There are many causes for fear of failure. One of the most common has its roots in people’s childhood. The point is some parents expect too much from their offspring and make them live up to the high standards they set. As a result, children develop a fear of failing, which allegedly may deprive them of parental approval and love. Some traumatic experience from the past can also affect your ability to take risks and the way you react to failures. For example, say you earned a bad grade on an important examination several years ago. Your teacher delivered a passionate speech about how disappointed she was upon checking your test, and your parents subjected you to similar criticism at home. The experience might have been so frustrating that you became afraid of failing in other things. Unfortunately, not all people can overcome their fears easily. It may take much time and effort to learn how to come to terms with fiascos and overcome a fear of failure.
How to avoid fear of Failure: It’s important to realize that in everything we do, there’s always a chance that we’ll fail. Facing that chance, and embracing it, is not only courageous – it also gives us a fuller, more rewarding life.
However, here are a few ways to reduce the fear of failing:
1. Analyze all potential outcomes – Many people experience fear of failure because they fear the unknown. Remove that fear by considering all of the potential outcomes of your decision. Our article Decision Trees will teach you how to map possible outcomes visually.
2. Learn to think more positively – Positive thinking is an incredibly powerful way to build self-confidence and neutralize self-sabotage. Our Thought, Awareness, Rational Thinking, and Positive Thinking is a comprehensive resource for learning how to change your thoughts.
3. Look at the worse-case scenario – In some cases, the worst-case scenario may be genuinely disastrous, and it may be perfectly rational to fear failure. In other cases, however, this worst case may actually not be that bad, and recognizing this can help.
4. Have a contingency plan – If you’re afraid of failing at something, having a “Plan B” in place can help you feel more confident about moving forward.
(The author is a teacher at Govt. Higher secondary school Damhall Anantnag. Views are his own)

[email protected]