The most debatable topic in the contemporary world is the status of woman in world societies and in world religions. The massive research literature has come out which exclusively discusses the place of women. There are arguments and counter arguments, posed by scholars with respect to diverse societies and religions in defining the nature of woman. There is a long list of scholars, both male and female, who have devoted their lives to highlight the issue of woman discrimination. Some of them initiated movements like “feminism” to work for the “upliftment” and the “liberation” of woman as per them. In order to determine the role of religions and societies throughout the history, studies have been done. The conclusion of all the studies is almost the same i.e., woman in the societies especially in the eastern societies are “oppressed one”. There is not concept of “liberty” and “freedom” with respect to the womenfolk. As on gender basis, woman is being degraded in everywhere. The research conclusions about the gender bias may be accurate to the extent with respect to world societies and may be validated with respect to some religions, but in Kashmir context, it needs afresh examination and interpretation. As Kashmir society has altogether a different perspective of gender biases. Here, the gender oppression is not dominated by men folk but by the same folk i.e., womenfolk. Here the valid question is that “is woman oppressed one or the oppressor”. To examine the hypothesis, it needs comprehensive historical analyses. The most prominent historical figure of oppressed woman is none but Lalla Ded. With the strict adaptation of the culture, she got married at the age of 12. Her married life remains an example throughout the history of Kashmir. She was not warmly welcomed and adopted by her in-laws. Her mother-in-law used to oppress and suppress her to the fullest. She is said to receive worse humiliation. Besides, the others things, she used to give a little food. The famous Kashmiri proverb goes as; “whether they killed a goat, Lalla had always a stone for her dinner” as her mother-in-law used to put a flat stone on her plate and cover it with rice so it would look as a bigger heap of food.
Despite all the humiliations, she never complained about her oppressions. The illustration of Lalla’s suppression and her tolerance is still alive in the nook and corner of Kashmir. Whenever a married girl is similarly suppressed and oppressed by her in laws and she tolerates it patiently, that woman is considered as the progeny of Lalla Ded. “She is the daughter of Lalla Ded” or “she got birth from Lalla” remains on the tongue of every Kashmiri. So Lalla and her in laws are the historical factual characters of the valley which delineates the character of woman as daughter in law and as mother in law. Hence the hypothetical question that “is woman oppressed or the oppressor” got resolved. The history of Kashmir witnesses examples of women oppression but by woman herself. A woman generally receives a warm attention and attitude from men folk and are coerced by womenfolk often times. We are all experiencing the similar experiences in our homes. This is perhaps the story of every house in Kashmir. The most important reason of depression and the similar psychological issues is the “non-ending brawl between daughter in law and mother in law”. They continuously used to be in quarrelling with each other which affects the whole family psychologically. The thing we need to resolve the issue is to first understand the “nature” of “relationship” and the “religious” significance of relations. The ways and guidelines must be drawn from the religious scriptures to strengthen the bond all kinds of relations. Another thing is that parents have to play a positive and just role to treat their daughter in laws. Thirdly, the women folk must be advised about their role as “daughters”, “daughter in laws” and then “mother in laws”.
(The Author is working as Assistant Professor at Baba Ghulam Shah Badshah University, Rajouri. Views are his own)
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