So for the first time a person who writes on Human rights, state, national and sometimes on International politics has turned to write something emotional as now it has become tough for him to hold back. On 25th of September 2020 Neeshan’s father tested positive for corona virus. Neeshan my friend who with time turned my younger brother . Testing positive didn’t seem to be an issue at the first place because where Corona has many deaths it has recoveries as well. At the beginning I was not worried about it but what made me worried was that his lungs had already stopped working to 70% and then the saturation which was much less than the normal also became an issue. I thought these are the beginning days of he being tested positive but with treatment he will start recovering. But with time the news that I used to receive from him about his father got me worried and what struck my mind was his 70% non functional lungs and it got me worried. I couldn’t hold back I took the details and called whosoever was there to help. To make sure that his father gets extra and better care as Neeshan became worried about the condition of his father. No doubt he had to be worried as it was his father who was admitted in the hospital and was not doing well. Soon, a high level officer visited and met the attendant and enquired about the health. And I was told that first dose of plasma has been given and now it’s time for another one. But here started the worry. His condition started to get crtical and here it’s was the signal that some tough days are ahead and things are going to be very difficult to handle. I called my friend to enquiry about the health of his father has said he’s on ventilator and his situation is getting crtical day after day and there are no signs of recovery. For the next 2-3 days he kept me telling one thing and the another which I wasn’t ready to accept. Sometimes he’s well sometimes crtical sometimes he was all set to come home and some no hope. To get a clear view I made a call to make myself clear as where to stand and what to do. What I got after the call made me dumb and clueless as never before . The only thought that used to struck my mind was How will I give strength to Neeshan who always looks at me whenever he falls low on strength. And these thoughts kept hitting my mind like anything. The person who used to have all the answer ready for his queries was himself hopeless and helpless. When I got to know that he isn’t in position to survive I literally lost my mind thinking what will happen to my friend who’s connected to his father. He’s younger than me and still can’t make difference between wrong and right. He still needs to discuss which chocolate to eat and which not. Riding a scooty fast and doughing a traffic police is a big thing which he comes and tells me on call as if he conquered a castle. And he loosing father at this time is a big loss for him which can’t be fulfilled by any means. It’s beyond imagination for him or any of his family member to forget who they have lost. Once he was on ventilator I got to know his father isn’t coming back and it’s all time set to get ready to give courage to my brother so that he doesn’t has to come across it as a shock when he will at once hear the news about his father being no more. To get this done I involved Muffaid a common friend of ours who’s his family friend and has much better understanding with him. I called him and told him it’s better we start counseling Neeshan or it’s going to be very difficult for him to come across the news that his father is no more. But as I told Muffaid that let’s get ready for the death of Neeshan’s father he asked me who told you. I told him all the story. So as he heard the story he said ” Raqif Rakh Allah pa barosa sab thk hoga”. To which I repied ” Muffaid No doubt Allah can do anything but as we are accepting him to do good he can do worse” To which he was speechless. So finally with all the courage I told Neeshan to be strong as life can get anything at anytime you need to be strong and ready for anything. Time went on and I and Muffaid kept making his mind that it’s better he be strong to get ready for the death of his father. Which we didn’t say directly but tried to convey it anyway. But even after that Neeshan was optimistic about his father coming back hold all well. And this hope of his broke be as this was in no way a case. He kept me saying. ” Raqif aana da baap ko ghar kambra band karo ga ” And at one place he said ” Inshallah Jab aaya ga na baap thk hokar Gulmarg, phalagam, sonmarg har jagha goomavu ga” we both had a good laugh at it but it broke me more inside and more depressed about how to give this guy sense of reality when he will be no more. I kept praying and begging, told my mother my Grandfather and whosoever I could to pray for him so that he comes home back safe and sound. Till two days before the death Neeshan was all well receiving my calls instead of me giving him courage he used to give it to me and made me laugh but two days before the death of his father he called me and he finally had felt hopeless. And he was crying and said ” Raqif Ma tout gaya hu puara papa 99% gaya ha” and while he was crying I fought so hard to fight my tears back. But I did and I gave him courage that everything is fine and Allah will do good. But as two days passed came the day when his father was breathing his last. Neeshan called me at 11:OO Pm on 7th of October where he told me ” Raqif jo b ho aj hee ho. Papa ko bohat azaab ha”which went upto 2 and he disconnected saying that he will play game for half an hour and will call me again. I agreed he disconnected I was waiting for his call but when he disconnected the call again the thought about giving him strength struck to my mind I just done away praying for his father’s recovery and then started waiting for his call but that didn’t came. The call came at 4 am and he said crying ” Raqif papa bohat bimar ha” And he disconnected the call. That was the time I said it’s let to get ready to give courge to my friend. Then was the final ending to all the prays and hopes. He messaged me at 5:38 am saying ” Papa challa gaya raqif, unhone mhuje chodh diya”. And my heart was crying and I found hard to have tears in my eyes. I gave a call to Muffaid and told him it’s all done his father passed away. He also found himself at the middle of nowhere. And we both had nothing other than regretting what happened! Now he’s at the place where he has to shoulder all the responsibilities. With time he will get used to his new life style but in all this I can loose my shinchan and a person who has all the time things to make one laugh. We can all do nothing but just pray for his father’s magfirat and sabar and strength to his family.
(Author is a human rights defender and a freelancer. Views are his own) [email protected]