The way a person acts defines its personality. Manners and etiquettes are considered among the top most characteristics of an individual. Since goodness is a part of human nature, people who are decent and affectionate are generally liked by others, while the inappropriate and indecorous ones are rejected. The significance of goodness of character is apparent from the fact that Allah Almighty sent down all His Prophets to teach their respective nations about adopting moral and ethical behavior. And being Muslims, we have a belief that Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) was epitome of excellent conduct, through which He was able to spread the teachings of Islam. The Apostle of Allah (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said: “The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character.” [Bukhari] So, it means that the ones who excel in adopting pleasant attitude are better than others, even they are lacking in some other things. And it is obligatory for us Muslims to adopt the Sunnah and disposition of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) being the followers of the religion He has taught us about. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) told us that, “I was only sent to perfect noble character.” [Muwatta’ and Musnad of Ahmad] According to Islam, a person will be judged according to his or her life’s actions. People whose deeds and actions in life are mainly good will enter Heaven (also called Garden or Paradise). However, if one’s deeds or actions are mainly evil, he or she will enter Hell (also referred to as Fire). Doing good and having the right belief go hand in hand in Islam. In fact, doing good in practice is the proof of having the right belief in the heart. This is why the Holy Quran speaks of true Muslims very often as “those who believe and do good deeds”. Both the Quran and the Holy Prophet (PBUH) have told Muslims that the best among them is that person who shows the best behaviour towards other people. Some of the foremost qualities of a true Muslim are as follows: (a) BEING GOOD TO PARENTS: Words like kindness, tenderness and great compassion come into mind when one thinks about parents. They are the reason for our existence, and nourish us in the best possible. A mother`s love and care start from the time when one is not even born: she takes care and bears all pains for its baby. She is also a leading figure in prudence towards its child till it becomes able to watch out for itself. The holy Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) used to say “Paradise lies under the feet of mother” to show her prominence to us. Father, on the other hand, works hard to earn living for its kids and makes sure their children are provided with every facility of life. One cannot even estimate their affection and cautiousness towards their kids, nor pay them back in full. Islam puts great emphasis on their rights, and everyone is directed to be mindful of this delicate matter.
The Quran tells us, “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word.” (Quran, 17: 23) Such is the greatness of parents that Allah, the Exalted, after directing us to worship no one else apart from Him alone, has ordered us to act towards our parents well. Since they become rigid after reaching old age, so we are advised by the Almighty not to say even a single harsh word to them, for they have become weak both mentally and physically, and need our gentleness just like they cared for us when we were feeble and small. The holy Quran guides us to have good manners. Our Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) justifies the significance of good mannerism in the following hadith “Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) reminded that: “The most beloved of Allah’s servants to Allah are those with the best manners.” (Al-Bukhari)”. This signifies that those that contain a good characteristic, will be the one most loved by their lord. One simply cannot be a perfect Muslim, even if they are committed to their prayers, fasting, giving A man came to the Prophet PBUH and said “O Messenger of Allah PBUH, there is a lady who is known for performing a lot of prayers, fasting and charity however she harms her neighbors by her tongue , so the Messenger said “She is in hell fire” [Muslim]. Ahklaq falls in between several worship categories also, such as: salah, fasting, hajj and zakat. Allah (swt) has addressed his servants will become ultimate winners, if they humble themselves during prayer and avoiding sinful talks. “The believers must (eventually) win through, Those who humble themselves in their prayers, Who avoid vain talk.” [Holy Quran, 23:1-3]. Backbiting is the act of talking about others in their absence, despite it being good or bad. It is narrated by Abu Hurayrah that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said “Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him.”[Muslim]. In Islam Allah (swt) has declared backbiting of being a sin. The Almighty emphasises in the Holy Quran by stating “O’ you, who believe! Shun much suspicion for verily some suspicion is a crime. Would any of you like to eat of the flesh of his dead brother? But you abhor it. And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful.” [Holy Quran 49:12].
Our Lord indicates to the followers of Islam, that the price of backbiting is equivalent to eating the flesh of his dead brother. (b) MAINTAINING GOOD RELATIONS: Our religion has greatly stressed on building and sustaining nice kinship and ties with one`s family members. Although, it is a moral virtue to treat everyone alike, welcoming guests to house, helping the poor and travelers, but there is even greater emphasis on treating relatives and closer friends with more fondness according to the Sunnah of the Messenger (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) of God. “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended, should uphold the ties of kinship.” [Bukhaari] The greater implication of the above Hadith could be that being the followers of Islam, we should not only be pleasant towards our family members in good times, but also try to make peace when they break off connections with us, as Allah does not like the ones who embrace and spread hate among people. (c) RESPECTING ELDERS AND BEING KIND TO KIDS: Every society has its needs and demands to be able to move forward, and among many of those necessities, are showing gratitude towards seniors, and showing benevolence to the juniors. Elders are a great source of inspiration, as they have already seen the world closely, and one can learn from their experiences. Our Holy Prophet (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) always treated the older ones with great reverence that he even visited the old non believer lady and looked after her, who used to throw garbage on Him. Kids, on the other hand, are signs of witnessing small Angels, who commit mistakes unknowingly, and require our attention to teach them way of conduct. Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) showed the savage Arabs to treat their children with love. He even used to carry His grandchildren on His shoulders and His back, and always acted with kindness. “He who does not show mercy to our young or show esteem for our elders is not one of us.” [Bukhari]. Islam guides us to respect others, “O you who believe! do not enter houses other than your own until you have asked permission and greeted the inmates . . . and if it is said to you, ‘Go back’, then go back.” (24:27-28) “O you who believe! avoid most of suspicion (against others), for surely suspicion in some cases is sin; and do not spy (into other people’s affairs), nor let some of you backbite others.” (49:12) “When you are greeted with a greeting, greet with one better than it, or return it (in the same terms at least).” (4:86) So, a true Muslim should always keep a good balance between behaving towards the young ones and the older ones, for there is emphasis on treating both of them well in any case. (d) BEING TRUTHFUL AND TRUSTWORTHY: The most prominent personality traits of our beloved Prophet, Muhammad (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) were candidness and honesty. That is the reason why He was even praised by His worst enemies for these qualities, and used to keep their belongings with Him as trusts.
The Almighty Lord has repeatedly mentioned about these qualities of Mo’mins (staunch devotees) in the Sacred Manuscript of Quran. The holy Quran guides us to be truthful, “O you who believe! keep your duty to Allah and speak straight, true words.” (Holy Quran 33:70) “O you who believe, keep your duty to Allah, and be with the truthful people.” (9:119) “Be maintainers of justice and bearers of true witness for Allah, even if it (the truth) goes against your own selves or parents or relatives or someone who is rich or poor.” (4:135) The holy Quran further guides us that a muslim must have a good character. “O you, who have believed, fear Allah and be with those who are true.” (Quran, 9: 119) “Indeed, Allah commands you to render trusts to whom they are due and when you judge between people to judge with justice. Excellent is that which Allah instructs you. Indeed, Allah is ever Hearing and Seeing.” (Quran, 4: 58) Allah (SWT) does not want us to be among the dishonest ones, as we Muslims represent the face of our religion in our daily life, and we cannot persuade the non believers about the candor nature of Islam, unless we ourselves act accordingly in our lives. Despite having faith in Oneness of Allah, and considering Prophet Muhammad (SallAllahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) as His last Prophet, we cannot call ourselves true Muslims till we embrace and apply the Islamic instructions in our lives through appropriate mannerism. According to holy Quran, “Mankind is a single nation.” (2:213) “O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into races and families so that you may know each other. The most honoured of you in Allah’s sight are those who best keep their duty.” (49:13) “We (Allah) have not sent you (O Muhammad) except as a mercy to the nations.” (21:107) “Speak good words to all people.” (2:83) “Allah commands you that . . . when you judge between people (i.e., of any race, religion, family, class, etc.), you judge with justice.” (4:58). Islam guides us to live peacefully with the people of other religions. “Allah does not forbid you concerning those people who do not fight you because of your religion, nor expel you from your homes, that you show them kindness and deal with them justly.. . . Allah forbids you only concerning those people who fight you for your religion, and drive you from your homes and help others to expel you, that you make friends of them.” (60: 8,9) “Whatever good they (people of other religions) do, they will not be denied it (by Allah), and Allah knows who the righteous are.” (3:115) “O you who believe, be upright for Allah, bearers of witness with justice; and do not let the hatred of a people incite you not to act with justice. Be just; that is nearer to observance of duty.” (5:8) “Call (others) to the way of your Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation, and argue with them in the best manner.” (16:125) “Argue not with the people of the Book (Jews, Christians, and other people having scriptures) except by the best (means), save those of them who act unjustly. But say: We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you, and our God and your God is One, and to Him we submit.” (29:46), A companion of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) relates: “A funeral procession passed by the Holy Prophet, and he stood up for it. People said to him: It was the funeral of a Jew. He said: Was it not a human life?” (Report in Bukhari) In short Quran guides Muslims to live peacefully and help each other in good deeds. “Hold fast by the covenant of Allah all together and be not disunited. And remember Allah’s favour to you when you were enemies, then He united your hearts, so by His favour you became brethren.” (3:103) “The believers are brethren, so make peace between your brethren . . . Do not find fault with your own people, nor call one another by (bad) nick¬names.” (49:10-12) “Help one another in good and righteous works, and do not help one another in sin and aggression.” (5:2) “Do not hate one another and do not be jealous of one another and do not boycott one another, and be servants of Allah, as brothers; and it is not lawful for a Muslim to sever his relations with his brother for more than three days.” (Holy Prophet in Bukhari) “You will see the believers in their having mercy for one another, and in their love for one another, and in their kindness towards one another, like the human body: when one limb is ailing, the whole body feels it, one part calling out the other with sleeplessness and fever.” (Holy Prophet in Bukhari) “None of you has faith until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” (Holy Prophet in Bukhari).
Allah guides us to do good and kindness to others. Three degrees of doing good are mentioned in holy Quran (16:90) : “justice,” which means returning any good that someone has done you with equal good; “do good to others,” which means taking the initiative in doing good to others; and “give to the relatives,” which means doing good to people instinctively and naturally just as one does good to one’s close relatives. “Do good to others, surely Allah loves those who do good to others.” (2:195). The most important qualities of a true Muslim are, Truthfulness, Sincerity, Unselfishness, Humility, Patience, Forgiveness, Purity and cleanliness, Honesty, Goodness and kindness to others, Consideration and respect for others, Courage, Moderation and Cheerfulness. The foregoing discussion should be sufficient motivation for us to lead a good life in this world and to be prepared for answerability in the hereafter so that we are not among the losers on the Day of Reckoning.
(The author an associate professor at S K University of Agriculture Sciences & Technology-SKUAST Srinagar writes regularly on Islamic topics exclusively for “Kashmir Horizon” .Views are his own)