Almighty Allah is our Creator and it was through our parents that He created us. This is the reason why He has given so many rights to the parents. It is stated, “Allah has ordered that do not worship anyone but Him and be dutiful towards your parents.” Hazrat ibn Abbas (r.a) narrates from the Prophet (pbuh) that a person whose parents are alive and he obeys them, listens to and respects them, then Allah will open two doors of paradise for him. But if one of his parents is not happy with him, then Allah will not be happy with him either. Then someone asked the Prophet (pbuh), “Even if they are oppressors?” The Prophet (pbuh) replied, “Yes, even if they are oppressors.” It is said, a person who disobeys his parents, or disrespects them and does not listen to them, Allah will open two doors of hell for him. And if he disrespects only one of them, then Allah will only open one door of hell for him. Helping your parents is better then performing Jihad. Abdullah ibn Umar (r.a) narrates that a person came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said, “I have intentions of going on Jihad.” The Prophet (pbuh) asked him, ‘Are any of your parents alive?’ He replied, ‘Yes.’ The Prophet (pbuh) said, ‘Do Jihad by helping your parents.’ From this we can gather how important parents really are. In Islam, the status, honor, respect and esteem attached to motherhood is unparalleled.
Noble Qur’an places the importance of kindness to parents as second only to worshipping God Almighty: Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, And that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, Say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they cherished me in childhood. (Noble Qur’an, 17:23-24). One of the most convincing things about the religion Islam is the treatment of women in general and particular the high position and honor of mothers.
Holy Quran in several other places puts special emphasis on the mother’s great role in giving birth and nursing: “And We have enjoined on man to be good to his parents: In travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me and to your parents.” (Noble Qur’an, 31:14) “We have enjoined on the human being kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth.” (Noble Qur’an, 46:15) The very special place of mothers in Islam has been eloquently described by Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh): “Jannah lies at the feet of your mother’s” “A man asked Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw): ‘Whom should I honor most?’
Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) replied: ‘Your mother’. ‘And who comes next?’ asked the man. Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) replied: ‘Your mother’. ‘And who comes next?’ asked the man. Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) replied: ‘Your mother!’. ‘And who comes next?’ asked the man. Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) replied: ‘Your father'” (Bukhari and Muslim) A person came to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and said: ‘O’ Prophet of Allah! I have committed every known evil act. Is there a chance that I may be forgiven?’ Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) asked him: ‘Are any of your parents still alive?’ The man replied: ‘My father.’ He said to him: ‘Go and be good and kind to him.’ When he left, Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: ‘If only his mother had been alive.'” (Biharul Anwar) Among the few precepts of Islam which Muslims still faithfully observe to the present day is the considerate treatment of mothers.
The honor that Muslim mothers receive from their sons and daughters is exemplary. The intensely warm relations between Muslim mothers and their children and the deep respect with which Muslim men approach their mothers usually amaze Westerners. Famous companion of Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) or Sahabi-e-Rasool and a great scholar of Islam, Abdullah Ibn Abbas (ra), considered kind treatment of one’s mother to be the best deed for strengthening or rectifying one’s relation with God Almighty. He said: I know of no other deed that brings people closer to Allah (SWT) than kind treatment and respect towards one’s mother. Imam Zayn al-Abidin (as) used to treat his mother with so much kindness and love as seen in the following narration: Once he was asked, “You are the most kind person to your mother, yet we have never seen you eating with her from a single dish/plate.” Imam Zayn al-Abidin (as) replied, “I fear that my hand would take what her eyes have already seen in the dish/plate and then I would be disobeying her.”
In other words, he, Imam Zayn al-Abidin (as) was so careful not to disobey his mother that he would even avoid eating out of the same plate as her; He thought that she would see a morsel and intend to take it, but before she did he might unknowingly take that same morsel and eat it. This is how careful he was to obey his mother in the most minute details.All that has preceded above shows how the status of mothers and consequently that of women – is elevated to the highest position in Islam. Honor of Mothers in Islam is beyond that found in any other religion, ideology or culture. This is a very clear proof of the lofty status of Muslim Women. A man came to the Prophet (pbuh) and asked him, ‘My mother is very old. I feed her with my hands and I help her do ablution and I sit her down on my shoulders. Have I done enough to repay her for the things she has done for me?’ The Prophet said, ‘No. You have not even repaid he a bit. But Allah will give you a small amount of deeds for what you have done.’ Such is the value and status of a mother and this is because nothing can compensate for the chores she has born for her child since pregnancy to his upbringing.
Love is the only melody welcomed by its sufferer, who never desires to recover from it. All the sick hope to be cured, but this sick one sobs, crying “Increase my Sickness.” (Maulana Rumi) Hazrat Owais Qarni was born in the village of Qarn in Yemen. His father passed away leaving Hazrat Owais Qarni an orphan at a very young age. Hazrat Owais Qarni was a very pious and noble person. He had embraced Islam while Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam was still alive. He naturally had a very strong desire to see Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) but since his mother was too old and she needed his help and care, he could not visit Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam in Madinah. As a reward of his service to his mother, he was given the title and status of a Sahabi-e-Rasool (Companion of Prophet) even though he could not see Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) personally in his life time. A famous story regarding Hazrat Uwais al-Qarni: After the second battle of Islam called as Battle of Uhud, when Hazrat Owais Qarni came to know that Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam had lost a few teeth during the encounter, he himself broke all his teeth one by one till none was left – as he did not know exactly how many or which ones were lost by Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam. His extreme love for Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam made him question why he should have teeth when Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam had lost his own. Many times in the company of his Companions, Holy Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) stated, “I can smell the beauty of my friend from the land of Yemen.” This statement is in direct reference to the spiritual greatness of Hazrat Uwais al-Qarni.
One day, Hazrat Owais Qarni had asked his mother’s permission to visit Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam and she said: “You have my permission to go, see him once, and come straight back without staying over night in Madinah. If our Beloved Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam is at home, you may meet with him; if not, come straight back here.” Hazrat Owais Qarni then completed a journey of three months on foot, from Yemen to Madinah. When he reached Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam’s house, he knocked on the door and Ummul Momineen Hazrat Umme Salma opened the door. She told him that Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam was not in home and he (saw) was out of station. Hazrat Owais Qarni remembered his promise to his mother and replied, “Please convey my Salaams to my Beloved Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam. Kindly inform him that Owais came from Yemen, did not find him at home and is now returning back to Yemen, since he does not have permission from his mother to stay over night in Madinah.”
When Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam returned home from the journey, he (pbuh) found the radiance of Hazrat Uwais al-Qarni in his house. Ummul Momineen Hazrat Umme Salma (r.a) told him what had happened and conveyed Hazrat Owais Qarni’s salutations. His blessed eyes looked towards Yemen and our Beloved Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam said, “The fragrance of our friend is reaching us.” Noble Companions then enquired: “Ya Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam, if Owais is your friend, for what reason did he not stay to meet you?” To this, Rasulallah Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam replied, “He complied with a promise given to his mother and he is serving her.”
Hazrat Ibn Abbas (r.a) said, ‘At the time of the Prophet (pbuh), there was a young man named Alkamah. He used to work very hard and give his earnings to charity. One day he became very ill. His wife sent a message to the Prophet (pbuh). The Prophet (pbuh) sent Bilal (r.a), Ali (r.a), Suleman (r.a) and Amar (r.a) with these words, ‘See how he is.’ They went and found that he was indeed very ill and close to death. They spent some time trying to make him read the Kalimah, but something was holding him back. Hazrat Bilal (r.a) returned to tell the Prophet (pbuh) about his condition. The Prophet (pbuh) asked, ‘Are his parents alive?’ Bilal (r.a) replied, ‘His father has passed away, but his mother is still alive.’ The Prophet (pbuh) told Bilal (r.a) to call his mother and if she couldn’t come then the Prophet (pbuh) would come to her. As soon as Alkamah’s mother heard, she grabbed her walking stick and came right away. She did Salaam and the Prophet (pbuh) returned it and asked, ‘Tell me truthfully, if you don’t, then I will learn by revelation. What sort of deeds did your son do?’ She told the Prophet (pbuh) that he was a very pious man, that he used to read prayers consistently, fast constantly and give alms abundantly. The Prophet (pbuh) asked her how he was with her. She said, ‘I am upset with him.
Instead of me, he gives preference to his wife. He used to disobey me and listened to his wife. The Prophet (pbuh) said to her, ‘Your displeasure has stopped Alkamah from reciting the Kalimah.’ The Prophet (pbuh) then ordered his Companions to gather some wood and to burn him. The mother asked whether they were really going to burn her son in front of her? The Prophet (pbuh) told her, ‘Allah’s punishment is much greater. If you want Allah to forgive Alkamah, you must first forgive him yourself. His praying, fasting and alms-giving will do him no good.’ His mother raised her hands and said, ‘I have forgiven him.’ The Prophet (pbuh) sent Bilal (r.a) to check on Alkamahh. He was reading the Kalimah. Alkamahh died that very day. The Prophet (pbuh) arranged his funeral and led his Janazah. After that he stood up and addressed the people. ‘The person who prefers his wife rather then his mother, Allah’s curse be upon him. His faraaidh and nawafil will not be accepted. To conclude a true Muslim possesses all the positive and constructive qualities.
A Muslim is to guided to live a life of total obedience to the Almighty Allah then parents. Islam commands us to honour parents, obey them, respect their opinion and be kind to family. Allah has also set limits to parents and their main role towards their children is to nurture them in the light of Islam. According to holy Quran, “You are the best of people raised for the (guidance of) mankind; You enjoin the good, forbid the evil, and believe in Allah” (Quran, 3:110. A true Muslim is beneficial and useful to his family, society and humanity in general. But in doing all this, he never ignores the true spirit of Islam.
(The author a teacher at S K University of Agriculture Sciences & Technology-SKUAST Srinagar writes on Islamic topics exclusively for “Kashmir Horizon”)