Children are a source of delight and an adornment for the world granted by Allah to their parents. They give vigour to the hearts, joy to the souls and pleasure to the eyes. They are the fruit from whom good is to be hoped for when they frequently supplicate “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.” They are the ones in every nation upon whom hope for the future lies, and they are the youth of tomorrow upon whose shoulders the call to Islam is carried. Indeed Islam has elevated the status of children and has laid down manners for their treatment through different stages, which start with the manners of welcoming the new born child. It is very nice for every Muslim to apply in his house what the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, used to do.
1- It Is Recommended That The Father Says Adhan In The Right Ear Of The Newborn Baby: First, it is recommended that the father is the one who says Adhan in the right ear of the newborn baby. Scholars said: “The word of Tawhid (monotheism) will be the first thing to be heard by the baby.” It is remarkable that according to the experiments performed on babies, the effects which the babies are exposed to in their early years have a great influence on them when they grow up. Also, some of these effects determine the type of their tests in the future. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessing upon him, said Adhan in the right ear of the newborn baby. In some weak As7adeth it was reported that he said Iqamah in the left ear, but let us stick to the authenticated Prophetic action: ((It is reported that Abu Rafi’ (a Companion) said, “I saw the Messenger of Allah (may Allah bless him and his household and grant them peace) give Adhan in the ear of al-Hasan, the son of Ali, when Fatimah gave birth to him.)[Reported by al-Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud, Ahmad, al-Hakim and al-Bayhaqi]. The beneficial Prophetic action which was reported, authenticated and agreed upon is that it is recommended that the father is the one who says Adhan in the right ear of the newborn baby.
2- Seeking Refuge With Allah For The Newborn Baby From Satan: After giving Adhan it is desirable to seek refuge with Allah following the steps of the wife of ‘Imran who said: ((Then when she delivered her [child Maryam (Mary)], she said: “O my Lord! I have delivered a female child,” – and Allah knew better what she delivered, – “And the male is not like the female, and I have named her Maryam (Mary), and I seek refuge with You (Allah) for her and for her offspring from Shaitan (Satan), the outcast.”). [Aal-‘Imran, 36]. Both male and female babies are addressed in this Ayah, I seek refuge with You (Allah) for her and for her offspring from Shaitan, is also meant to be I seek refuge with You (Allah) for his and for his offspring from Shaitan.
3- Tahneek The Newborn Baby: Tahneek which is rubbing a piece of softened date on the roof of the mouth of a newborn baby, is Sunnah. In case a date is not available, it is allowed to do Tahneek with whatever has a sweet taste like jam, so that the baby tastes the sweetness of it. In Sahihain, reported by Abu Musa Al Ash’aree: ((Narrated by Abu Musa (RA)” A son was born to me and I took him to the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, who named him Ibrahim, did tahneek for him with a date.)
4- Congratulating The Father Upon The Birth Of Newborn Baby: One of the Sunan is to congratulate the father by saying to him: “Baraka Laka Bilmaolood(May Allah bestows His blessings upon your baby).” This is Allah’s gift given to you without a price or any effort. On the other hand, Allah the Almighty may decree that the offspring of the most pious man could be evildoers. Therefore, whenever someone is blessed with a pious son, he shouldn’t claim being the reason behind it, for this will be impoliteness towards Allah. He should attribute his son’s piousness to the Divine grace instead. The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, asked his daughter Fatimah to shave Al-Hussein’s hair, weigh it and give silver equal to its weight as Sadaqah. Also, the Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, asked her to do the same with her son Al-Hasan. Like silver, gold can be given as Sadaqah. The point is to give Sadaqah on the behalf of the newborn baby in order to keep it protected, blessed in its age, dutiful to its parents, upright and pious.
5- Delaying Circumcision: It is undesirable for Muslims to circumcise their male children on the very day they were born. Also, it is detestable to circumcise them when they are 7 days old, because the Jews do that. Circumcision (Khitan) for Muslim males is an authenticated Sunnah according to Maliki and Hanafi schools of thought, while the Shafi’i school of thought deems it obligatory (Fard) for males. Imam Ahmad said: “Khitan is mandatory (Wajib).” Between being Fard, Wajib or authenticated Sunnah, it is desirable that we delay Khitan till the household settles down; after ten days of birth and more.
6- Having A Beautiful Name Is A Right Of The Newborn Baby Upon Its Father: It is one of the Sunan to choose a beautiful name for the newborn baby. I wonder at the fact that some families look for strange and meaningless names for their children. Some of them are imported from the west, so I advise you not to choose such names lest you will be resurrected with the westerners, and your deeds won’t help you then. Strange and rare names are meaningless.
7. Islamic Guidance On Aqeeqah: We move now to the rulings on Aqeeqah. Aqeeqah is permissible but not preferable according to Hanafi school of thought, whereas other schools of thought consider Aqeeqah Sunnah. Aqeeqah by Islamic definition is the sacrificed animal that will be slaughtered on the behalf of the newborn baby on the 7th day of birth. Semantically Aqeeqah in Arabic means the hair of the newborn baby, but later on, Arabs called the sacrificed animal on the day of shaving baby’s hair Aqeeqah, as one of their habits is calling things by the reasons of their occasions. The origin of this Shari’ah ruling is that (Allah’s Messenger, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, offered Aqeeqah for Al-Hasan and Al-Hussein: a ram, a ram (two rams, two rams).[Nassa’ee by Ibn Abbas]. Which means to slaughter a sheep, a goat, or a ram when the newborn baby becomes 7 days old. Aqeeqah is preferable to be slaughtered on the 7th day of birth, and the one who slaughters it should say: “Allahummah Minka Wa Ilaika Aqeeqat such and such (the child’s name)” (O Allah, this is Aqeeqah of (the child’s name) who is a gift from You and to You we shall return.) Meaning, this sacrifice or this sheep is on the behalf of this baby, who should be named already on the 7th day of its birth). Those who should eat from Aqeeqah are the members of the family, guests and the mother in particular, because she loses a lot of blood in delivery. This is one of the objectives of Aqeeqah according to the Prophetic Sunnah; the mother of the baby needs kinds of food which are rich in their nutritional value in order to make up for the blood she loses in delivery. We can say that this baby comes with its Sadaqah.
“Everyone should care for their family; if all take responsibility for their upbringing and financial needs, society benefits. Neglecting family leads to societal corruption and widespread poverty.”
8. Rulings On Aqeeqa: To sum up the rulings of Aqeeqah, it swings between being Sunnah and permissible. The preferred opinion is to slaughter one sheep or a goat for the baby (whether it is male or female) on the 7th day of birth. the family, the mother of the baby (who loses a lot of blood in delivery) and the guests should eat from it. Finally, this Aqeeqah is intended to be means for the baby to be protected and prospered, and to be dutiful to its parents. Hastening to apply Allah’s commands marks your true belief in Him, and Allah might reward your submissiveness to Him by revealing to you the wisdom behind the Divine command. Following Allah’s commands shouldn’t be conditioned by knowing the wisdom behind them, though we may seek that wisdom. As for Aqeeqah, it is one of the Prophetic Sunan. He, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, recommended that a sheep should be slaughtered for the newborn baby to keep it protected and blessed. Also, by offering Aqeeqah, the newborn baby turns out to be a dutiful son or daughter to his/her parents. As I have mentioned earlier, Aqeeqah is just like Udhiyah; one can eat from it and give to the poor as Sadaqah.
9. The Parents Should Set The Best Example For Their Children: They should hasten to do that which is good and, likewise, hasten to abandon all that is evil. Children follow the example of their parents, and they love, respect and admire them. The parents are, therefore, the first and most lasting of examples for their children. Putting emphasis on religion: Parents should consider Islam the most important affair in their life. They should raise their child to know that the most important aspect of life is being upright in religion, clinging to it firmly. Allaah says (what means): “And this (submission to Allah, Islam) was enjoined by Ibraaheem upon his sons and by Ya’qoob, (saying), ‘O my sons! Allah has chosen for you the (true) religion, then die not except in the faith of Islam.” [Qur’an; 2:132]. Parents should supplicate Allah to guide their children and keep them upright. Allah Says that the believers say (what means): “Our Lord! Bestow on us from our own wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Mmuttaqoon (i.e. pious and righteous persons).” [Qur’an; 25:74]. Besides supplicating Allah, parents should also take the necessary steps in bringing up their children upon this religion. Showing love and kindness towards children: The parent should treat his children with love and kindness, and should not always use harshness. However, if the situation requires harshness, and even hitting, then he should do so, as and when the situation requires it, but he should not make this his way (i.e. that he is always hard and harsh towards his children). We should not be like those people who are always hard upon their children as this may lead them towards further corruption and going astray. On the other hand, we should not be like those who leave their children without any discipline so that they follow whatever way they like and do whatever they want.
10. Teaching Good Character: The parent should aim to raise his children upon good character from a young age. He should teach them the Qur’an, the history of the Prophet and that of the companions as well. One should not leave his children to continue making mistakes saying that he will correct them when they get older, because indeed it becomes increasingly more difficult to correct a person when he has grown up adopting incorrect actions and bad characteristics. As a poet once said: “Whoever grows up upon something, he grows old upon that same thing.” The Prophet used to train and bring up the children from a young age upon good manners and character. As can be seen in the Hadith of Al-Hasan in which he narrates how he once took a date from the dates of charity, and the Prophet stopped him and told him to take the date out of his mouth. The Prophet explained to him that the dates were for charity, and that charity was not allowed for the Prophet or his family. The Prophet did not leave Al-Hasan without instructing him; rather, he stopped him from continuing in what he was doing and explained to him the correct way, in kindness and wisdom.
11. Being Just With Children: The parent should neither oppress nor wrong any of his children. He should not show one of his children due favour more so than the others, by giving him more or praising him more than any of the others. Indeed this type of favoritism can be a reason for the children swaying from the correct path and developing personal problems later on in life.
12. Spending On One’s Children: The parents should be generous and spend on their children. They should take the necessary steps to earn lawful money and spend on their children in a manner that is correct. Indeed, anything that one spends on his family with the correct intention will be rewarded. The Prophet said: “Two Deenaars (golden currency) which you spend by way of charity, or two Deenaars which you give to the poor, or the two Deenaars which you give to your family-indeed the greatest of these as regards reward is that Deenaar which you spend upon your family.” [Muslim]
In conclusion, everyone should take care of his family, for if everyone in the society was to take care of the upbringing of their families and take care of their financial needs, then this would prove good and beneficial for the society as a whole. And if everyone were to leave the affairs of their families and their children, then this would lead to the corruption of the society, and poverty would be widespread.
(The authors write regularly on “Islamic Topics” exclusively for the opinion pages of “Kashmir Horizon”. The views, opinions and conclusions expressed in this article are those of the authors and aren’t necessarily in accord with the views of “Kashmir Horizon”)
Dr. Bilal Ahmad
Intizar Ahmad
