Jawaid Iqbal
Staying silent can be just as powerful as the words you mean to say, silence is golden when you are unsure of what to say. If you are confused about your own feelings concerning a matter, it’s best to stay quiet until you are more certain because more harm can be done by revealing false or exaggerated feelings. Choose silence instead of blurting out ‘in-the-moment’ feelings that are hurtful and not really how you feel in the grand scheme of things. When you feel the urge to say an unkind thing, take a few breaths and think of the possible consequences of your words. It’s best to stay silent when someone is sharing a meaningful story. Let the friend or person feel ‘heard’ by your silent nodding and sincere eye contact. Silence can be your best friend during negotiations. Say your piece, then close your mouth, and let the other person come to their own conclusions. Your silence shows that one, you are confident in what you just said, and two, you respect the other person enough to hear what they have to say. Sometimes silence is the best and most timely solution because the other person is not in a position to hear what you have to say.Practice being silent at work when you don’t have anything meaningful to contribute. Unless you can elevate the conversation by pointing out something interesting, missing, or beneficial, it’s best to just observe and learn.silence is golden when you don’t want to engage in a fool’s argument. As some squabbles will never be resolved, one must agree to disagree.By nature, humans are noisy creatures. We start making noise 20 seconds to a minute from the moment we are born; in fact, that’s the sign of a healthy baby. Some of us stay loud, and some of us grow to be quiet. The volume and intonation of our voice reflect our personalities, and our voices are arguably the primary way we express ourselves. But we need to recognize when to be silent. Silence is part of the natural flow of conversation. One person says something, another responds and people pause to consider what has been said, if it is thought-provoking or if they need to gather their thoughts before responding. Silence is also exponentially better than speaking solely for the sake of speaking. This especially applies to us busybodies at Northwestern. We have about twenty commitments a day, so we all know what meetings are like. I have attended countless myself, and I’ve come to notice something. People interject into debates among other people about topics completely irrelevant to them, all because they want to seem more involved in a conversation.
Don’t say things just to hear your own voice. If you don’t have something important to say during a meeting, there’s nothing wrong with saying nothing at all.
Seriously, if you don’t have something important to say, don’t say anything at all. Every time someone speaks, it adds time to a meeting. If we’re meeting for a long time as is, there’s no need to continue to blabber on about something that you don’t actually know anything about. It slows the group down and that brings me back to the value of silence. Being silent doesn’t mean you are not being included in a group. If you don’t have anything specific to add, it does not make sense for you to try to participate in a conversation. This doesn’t make you any less likely to be part of that group or less able to have conversations with them in the future. It’s one conversation, for Pete’s sake. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t speak up in certain instances. In class, when a professor asks a question that no one wants to answer, if you know the answer, by all means, speak up. If there’s a prolonged, tense silence after the question, definitely break it. Given, this type of silence falls into the category of a thoughtful silence while everyone is processing the material and the professor’s inquiries. But a classroom silence is different from the silences we enjoy with our friends. With friends, we often do not notice we are silent for a few minutes before speaking again. These are comfortable silences. We recognize that even though no words are being said, it doesn’t make our friendship any less substantial nor does it detract from each person’s value in the conversation. Remember those friendly silences the next time you’re in a meeting. It can be a little daunting when there are many people talking and you worry that you are being overlooked. But it is better to allow a second or two of silence before emerging with a well-developed thought as opposed to busting out with the first thought that pops into your head, just for the sake of saying something. Don’t say things just to hear your own voice. If you don’t have something important to say during a meeting, there’s nothing wrong with saying nothing at all.
(Author is a teachers in J&K School Education Department. Views is his own) [email protected]
