Traditional Kashmiri weddings emphasized simplicity and sacredness, but modern trends prioritize extravagant spending and social status. While cultural celebration is acceptable, it becomes harmful when it causes financial strain or violates Islamic values.
A Kashmiri wedding was once associated with simplicity, dignity, family and the sacred bond of nikah. Today, however, many weddings have increasingly become occasions for competition, extravagant spending and public display. The question we must honestly ask ourselves is: Are we following Islam, or are we simply following society? Kashmir has a rich cultural heritage, and there is nothing wrong with celebrating marriage through permissible cultural traditions. The problem begins when customs become a source of financial pressure, humiliation, extravagance or practices contrary to Islamic values. In some marriages, families spend beyond their means on lavish functions, costly clothes and jewellery, elaborate decorations, excessive food and unnecessary ceremonies simply because “people will talk.” Parents may take loans or spend their life savings to meet social expectations, while families who cannot afford such weddings may feel ashamed or inferior. Islam, however, does not measure a marriage by its expense. Almighty Allah says, “Indeed, the wasteful are brothers of the devils” (Qur’an 17:27), and He also says, “Do not commit excess; indeed, He does not like those who commit excess” (Qur’an 6:141). The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) also encouraged simplicity, saying, “The most blessed marriage is that which is easiest and most affordable” (Ibn Hibban). Another serious issue is the expectation of dowry and expensive gifts from the bride’s family. Whether demanded openly or imposed through social pressure, such expectations can turn marriage into a financial burden. Islam gave the woman the right to Mahr from the groom, not the other way around. Almighty Allah says, “And give the women their dowries graciously” (Qur’an 4:4). Equally concerning is the growing culture of displaying weddings on WhatsApp, Instagram and other social-media platforms. Expensive dresses, jewellery, food, decorations and gifts are photographed and circulated, sometimes not to share happiness but to demonstrate wealth and status. What begins as celebration can easily become showing off, envy and unhealthy competition. Almighty Allah warns against those “who show off” (Qur’an 107:6), while the Prophet (SAW) taught that “actions are judged by intentions” (Bukhari, Muslim). There are also customs that, despite having no basis in Islam, are sometimes treated as if they were religious obligations.
“What was once a sacred union grounded in faith has increasingly transformed into a high-stakes display of social status in Kashmir. Driven by relentless social pressures, unspoken dowry expectations, and the performative nature of social media, contemporary Kashmiri Muslim weddings are pushing families into crippling debt and emotional exhaustion. Reclaiming the prophetic tradition of simplicity (Sunnah) offers a clear path out of this crisis—restoring dignity, spiritual blessing (Barakah), and financial peace to the institution of marriage.”
Unnecessary pre-wedding rituals, extravagant feasts, waste of food, inappropriate entertainment, immodest clothing, unnecessary mixing of men and women, excessive demands and delaying marriage because of financial expectations all deserve serious reflection when they conflict with Islamic principles. A cultural practice is not automatically Islamic simply because our ancestors followed it. At the same time, not every Kashmiri custom is un-Islamic; customs are acceptable when they do not violate the Qur’an and Sunnah. The responsibility therefore lies with all of us—parents, young people, religious scholars and community leaders—to challenge harmful practices rather than silently participating in them. We must stop asking, “What will people say?” and start asking, “What will Almighty Allah be pleased with?” A wedding should not push a family into debt, break a parent’s heart or become a competition for social status. Nor should WhatsApp and social media turn a sacred occasion into a showcase of wealth. The Muslim community of Kashmir needs a change of attitude: let us make nikah easier, reject dowry demands, avoid extravagance and waste, maintain Islamic modesty and stop glorifying unnecessary customs online. The beauty of a marriage is not in the number of functions, the price of the clothes or the grandeur of the feast. Its real beauty lies in faith, character, simplicity and the blessings of Almighty Allah. If we truly want our marriages to be blessed, then perhaps it is time to return from the pressure of society to the guidance of Islam.
