Dar Muqeet Gull
Kashmir is slowly drifting into a crisis that many people see, talk about, and even criticize. Yet very few are truly willing to change. This crisis is the growing dowry system, a practice that has silently entered our society and is now destroying countless families. Everyone calls it wrong. Everyone says it is a bid‘ah. But when it comes to action, there is silence. And this silence is costing us our future.
Today, marriage in Kashmir is no longer simple. It is no longer based on understanding, character, or faith. Instead, it has become a display of wealth, status, and material expectations. The more someone shows, the more “respect” they receive. And those who cannot afford it? They are left behind.
The burden of this system falls hardest on the poor.A father who has spent his entire life struggling to provide basic needs is suddenly expected to arrange huge amounts of money, gifts, furniture, and endless demands just to marry off his daughter. For him, nikah is no longer a blessing. It becomes a lifelong stress, a source of fear, and sometimes even humiliation. Think about a poor father who struggles his entire life just to marry off his daughter. Even after all his efforts, his daughter may still face taunts and humiliation in her in-laws’ house simply because she brought “less dowry.” This is not culture,this is injustice.
The truth is, we have moved far away from our religious values. Instead of seeking Allah’s رضا (pleasure), we are chasing respect and approval from people. But this artificial respect comes at the cost of broken homes and ruined lives. the story does not end here .Many daughters are sent into homes where they are judged, compared, and sometimes insulted for not bringing “enough.” Their worth is measured not by their character, but by what they carried with them. This is not just unfair,it is deeply inhumane.
At the same time, young men are also suffering. Unemployment is rising. Financial pressure is increasing. Society expects them to meet unrealistic standards before they can even think about marriage. As a result, many young men delay marriage for years, and some lose hope altogether. Look around, how many people are crossing the ideal age of marriage? How many are silently struggling with loneliness? How many are forced into situations that go against their values because halal has been made difficult?
“Awareness alone is insufficient; there is a moral obligation to dismantle the systemic burden of dowry and extravagant weddings. By prioritizing a simple Nikah over material wealth, the community can prevent the social decay of broken homes, parental distress, and rising loneliness. Choosing simplicity today is the key to healing Kashmiri society and preserving its core moral values.”
When nikah becomes difficult, wrong paths become easy.This is a dangerous reality we cannot ignore.The root cause of all this is simple: we have distanced ourselves from true religious understanding. We seek validation from people instead of seeking the pleasure of Allah. We care more about “log kya kahenge” than about what is right and just. But the question we must ask ourselves is:How long will we continue like this?
If we truly want change, it must begin from within us.Change will not come from speeches alone. It will not come from social media posts. It will only come when individuals take a stand in their own lives.Imagine a Kashmir where, Marriages are simple and affordable, No father fears marrying off his daughter, No girl is judged for her financial background, No boy feels pressured to prove his worth through wealth. This is not impossible. It only requires courage. Courage to Say, “I will not demand dowry. I will not support this system.I will choose simplicity over show-off.”
Because real honor is not in expensive gifts. Real honor is in character. If the educated youth.those who speak against this system. Do not act now, then their words mean nothing. Awareness without action is useless. This is not just a social issue. This is a moral responsibility. Every delayed marriage, every broken home, every tear of a helpless parent: these are all consequences of a system we continue to tolerate. The time to act is now. “Make nikah your priority, not material” Because if we fail to stop this today, tomorrow we will witness a society where marriages decrease, loneliness increases, and values slowly disappear. Let your decision become someone’s ease. This is how change begins. And this is how Kashmir can heal. If we stay silent today, tomorrow we will see a society where marriages are fewer, loneliness is greater, and moral decline becomes normal. Take a stand today: Say NO to dowry. Say YES to simple nikah….
(The author a teacher by profession is a freelancer. The views, opinions and conclusions expressed in this article are those of the author and aren’t necessarily in accord with the views of “Kashmir Horizon”)
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