I was pretty late to join the social game and now I know how blessed I had been staying away from it. From exaggerative LinkedIn posts to Twitter Trolls; from unrealistic standards set on Instagram through editing to Face book bickering – people seem to pounce on one another for menial issues. People choose to spend their time and energy hurling people to the ground on issues that could be easily ignored. I wonder what these people may be called. Irrelevant to this entire pun intended), a narcissistic person is defined as someone who has unreasonably high sense of their own importance. If it rings a bell it’s time to introspect. Past few years have been a wake up call for most of us: people being laid off post pandemic, people lost their near ones, people fighting anxiety and depression, people fighting their personal battles that one is unaware of the least one can do is be compassionate and empathic. Not everyone’s battles and struggles are visible; a lot of people battle to get out of the bed in the morning and if one can’t make them better try not to make it worse at least. From religious verses being manipulated to downright getting personal in the comments section; from not being respectful while disagreeing to seeking constant validation, from misogynistic jokes to cultural in-appropriation I have seen the abuse of the socials in this very short span of time. I might have found some gem connections online but the weigh is equally proportional by people who get their two-minute fame by trolling people and subjecting them to torment while hiding behind their screens. Interestingly since I joined all the social media platforms, I have been open to all connections on some platforms and totally close better in others – the reason pretty simple: People. People who think they have the inherent right to say something stupid in my DMs and spread vile in the comment section. My LinkedIn and Facebook are open for almost all because I try to keep it professional but Instagram is on vigil as I don’t let anyone I don’t know get into my account for the fact that I am dreaded by the fact that it’s my personal account and I can’t let anyone just come and spread verbal diarrhea there in the form of preachings; social, political and religious. People online drag each other down, shame them publicly and make fun out of their miseries while the rare rainbows support one another, correct each other privately and agree to disagree with dignity. Very often I have seen women of all ages being harassed in their DMs. I am no where implying that all men do so or men aren’t harassed but the ratio is off balance.
Speaking from personal experience. I have very sneekingly started to unfollow, unfriend and block people who reflect the above behavior. I don’t get into debates or tell them to better themselves – I just block or unfriend them for my own sanity but why should there be a need to unfollow or block people? It shouldn’t be a brainer to act maturely and know that every platform has a different use and not everyone is looking to make friends or get hooked online.Pro-tip: No woman will reply to your ‘hi’, ‘hello’, ‘nice pic’, ‘hey gorgeous/beautiful/sexy’, or ‘hw iz uuuu’. Instead try to have the basic etiquettes of introducing yourself first and then strike a meaningful conversation. Most women have at least 10 men already sending her ‘hi’s’, what makes you different? And what’s with not commenting on the posts but sliding creepily in the DMs. Up your game or get a life!Ramadan is a month of blessings, hope, belief and most important humility. I was baffled to witness how everyone in Kashmir started trolling Grand Mufti for his error in judgement. Why are we so condescending? Is this how you start the holy month? What can’t you just let go and focus on what the month is actually meant to be for? Online trolling might illicit you cheap laughs but it does show how you are as a person. Truth doesn’t have to be brutal, you don’t have to hurt people while speaking the truth. It’s okay to sidestep at times and not be critical all the time.This Ramadan start from the basics – stop loathing, stop being toxic, stop having the ‘holier than thou attitude’, try being more human and a better version of yourself than what you were yesterday. All the above might be something you have heard innumerable times but it’s worrisome that we are failing as a society on something as basic as empathy and respect. Social media wasn’t meant to be draining but people are making it so; and when that happens don’t forget to detox yourself.
(The author is EVS Lecturer at Govt Higher Secondary School Kheelani Doda. The views, opinions, facts, assumptions, presumptions and conclusions expressed in this article are those of the author and aren’t necessarily in accord with the views of “Kashmir Horizon”.)
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