“Women are themselves responsible for whatever brutalities they are facing”. This may seem surprising to everyone that everyone women are treated so humbly and here a statement is passed where women are held responsible for this grievance. Women have always been a center of discussion, be it her home, her world place her educational institute and therein we see two types of discussion, one against them and the other in their favour or to be more precise treating them as victims.The former talk starts and ends with the point that if she is raped she is herself responsible for it, if she is molested, its her who fault that she may have shown appealing gestures and may be her clothes are such that person is forced to do such things but if those people are asked about the gestures and dress of a 5 years old girl who is raped, they don’t have any answer because obviously she cannot tempt anyone or seduce them. The other category of people will start their discussion with “that poor lady” this happened to her and that happened to her, she should better have stayed home rather than buying to prove herself to the world as the women are always weak and cannot in anyway complete. In both the cases women are not in anyway treated the way they should have been resulting in the increase in number of crimes against women and ofcourse a license to those who are committing such crimes. The laws for the protection of women are there in abundance, more than enough as per me, being a law student I have read so many laws which are there for women and there are no laws at all for the protection of men, but still crimes are more in number against women and not against men. So here I am not going to discuss any law as they are known to everyone and we see laws are made very different in case of women and for every crime against women there is a law and proper supervisor but still crimes are increasing. Only few of them are being reported and rest remain unreported and for those that are reported need a lot of courage from the side of women to even talk about, leaving aside the world at large, she is not even able to talk about it to her family because bearing a part of this society I too have seen that if a girl tries to tell her parents about any problem the only remedy is to not allow her to pursue her studies or job.
Women should always remember that they are no less than a man instead far better than man, what a women can do a man cannot even imagine to do that.
So a girl mostly tries to hide it from her family resulting in her loss of life at a later stage. If she would have been able to tell her parents things would not have been that much critical so the problem lies in the thinking, the concern of this society that “what others will say”, what will be its impact on our reputation and to my surprise these words are mostly said by the mother or any other female of the family telling the men that you are our masters and whatever you want to do you are face to, we are commodity and you may use us. Now they say “stay home stay safe” and ofcourse women at home are not safe at all, from the very beginning of her wife she is made to believe that she doesn’t have her own personality, she is dependent on the men, be it her father, brother or husband so whatever she is directed by them she has to do it, she is always taught to keep quite, listen and compromise, but never a son is taught not to hurt his sister or any other girl, they are always made to believe that they are supreme which allows them to commit crimes against women and on the other hand women have to keep quite because the responsibility of the respect of family is wholly on the women, A man will walk freely after raping a girl but that girl has to hide herself behind the curtains. Although a girl is not physically tortured by her parents but they are doing much worse to her by making her believe that she is a victim and cannot ever stand. And it remains with her upto the time. While getting daughters married the parents again face problems because they have to showoff to the society that they have got their daughters married to people with decent background and in order to that fame they not give their daughter but also have to pay huge amounts for such marriage and resulting in a competition between the parents with sons to get more and more amount for their sons which ofcourse they have given the name of dowry and to me that is a price paid to sell their son to a girl and she is then the owner because a sale of him has taken place. The problem “as the daughter seems to her parents a problem” doesn’t end here. When she goes to the other house she is treated as a servant there and the person who promises to treat her a partner never does so because he has never seen anyone tries to do so. She is being humililated for that. She becomes a slave for him and whatever frustration he has in his life he knows where to go, he beats her abuses her and she never complaints because she has a thought in her mind that she cannot do anything on her own.
Recently in Kashmir two incidents of domestic violence in the same district with some days gap took place resulting in the death of 2 women one by burning and another by suicide which is yet to be inquired. It cannot happen that one fine day her husband and her family come home and burn her, these things do not happen instantly. They take a lot of time to come to the point of such extremism, then why did not she tell anyone that she was facing problems or she may have told her family and answer would have been you have to compromise now, everything will be fine one day just be patient and here patience took her to death. Now the hue and cry are everywhere. People needs to understand one things that an unmarried daughter/ or a daughter who came back from her husbands house is far better than a dead daughter. Be friends of your daughter, they must always have you at their back so that the husband knows that he cannot do necessary interference and brutalities. I have mentioned in the very beginning that women themselves are responsible for whatever is happening to them, and what I meant by that is why do not our parents (our mothers) most importantly teach their daughters that what is wrong and the gender should never become a hindrance, if someone is doing anything wrong to you do not tolerate it, stand for yourself and then other will also join you as well, unless and until you do not fight for yourself, no one will ever fight for you,
Recommendations For Combating Violence Against Women
Don’t allow men think that you cannot do anything, stop treating yourself as victims even before you actually become one. If something doesn’t suit you, report it. Parents should support their daughter at every point and understand both the siblings’ brother and sister are equally responsible for the reputation of the family, so that the son does not do anything wrong to others sister only then it will happen to your daughter also and the society will be a better place to live in. Girls should understand if you are married or marriage is fixed somewhere that is not the end, do not ever think that whatever is happening to you cannot be changed now, nothing matters the false reputation, the social stigma it does not matter at all what matter the most is “you”. You should be fine and do not tolerate the brutalities’ for the sake of fake fame. If you are facing any problems share with anyone to whom you find safe and make your personality such that men do not beat you as a commodity first of all. Women should always remember that they are no less than a man instead far better than man, what a women can do a man cannot even imagine to do that.
(The Author is pursuing LLM at Central University of Punjab Bathinda. Views are her own)
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