Islam is a religion that comes down to offer humanity a life filled with the peace and well-being in which Allah’s eternal mercy and compassion is manifested in the world. Almighty Allah invites all people of the world to accept the moral teaching of the Holy Quran. The Holy Prophet Mohammad (S.A.W) said, All of mankind is (like) the family of Allah. The dearest among them in the sight of Allah is the one who is the most helpful to the family (mankind). The divine nature of Islam makes it the only religion in the world that offers genuine solutions to such problems as social unrest, political instabilities, poverty and destitution, homocide, drug addiction, prostitution, family break-up, suicide, and the like. People can gain Allah’s approval and love by fully applying the Quran’s truths in their lives. Allah requires the faithful to adhere to the Quran’s morality as long as they are alive, without showing any weakness. The Arabic word ‘Umm’ that is used for mother really means the root and the foundation. It is so widely used to mean mother that its other meanings are overshadowed. The mother’s status in sharee’ah cannot be denied. Allah has enjoined that her children should honour her, and He has forbidden them to disobey her; He has ruled that the mother is the most entitled of people to one’s good company. In Islam the parents are expected to be responsible for their children in molding their character and personality to be righteous, God-loving and God-fearing. Islam is the only religion that clearly encourages parents to take good care of their children, especially their daughters until they grew up as practicing Muslims. A women holds a very high status in the Islamic faith and is recognized as a full and equal partner of man in the procreation of humankind. Women can live happily and peacefully only by working on the role nature has assigned to them. Womens happiness has and will always be dependent on her husband. The sign of a righteous women is that she obeys her husband in all matters that Islam has permitted to the best of her ability. Allah Said, the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husband, Quran, 4:34). Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a woman who got married, and was no longer under her parents’ care. Which is better – honouring her parents or obeying her husband? He replied: When a woman gets married, her husband has more authority over her than her parents, and obeying her husband is more obligatory for her. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity and their husband’s property) [al-Nisa’ 4:34]. And in a hadeeth the Prophet (S.A.W) said: This world is temporary conveniences and the best of its comforts is a believing wife, who when you look at her she pleases you and if you tell her to do something she obeys you, and if you are away from her she protects you with regard to herself and your wealth. In Saheeh Abi Haatim it is narrated that Abu Hurayrah said: The Messenger of Allah (S.A.W) said: If a woman offers her five (daily prayers) and fasts her month and guards her chastity and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from whichever of its gates she wants. Those wives who are reballious and disobedient towards their husbands will not have their supplications answered. Islam considers family as the basic unit of the society. The quality of social life that a community has depends on the kind of families that constitute the society. If the members of the families are righteous, we expect the society to be righteous. Mothers in religion Islam are held in very high esteem. Islam gives mothers a status greater than that can be found in any other religion in the world. Mother is a blessing and a gift from Almighty Allah. The first word a baby utters is Mother in love and calls out loud no matter it is a happy or sad moment of its life. A mother loves her baby without any condition, bears pain with smile and sacrifices everything without any complaint. When the children grow up, it’s their responsibility to be kind with their parents, especially to their mother. The command to be good to one’s parents begins right from the Qur’an. Allah says: “Worship God and join not any partners with Him; and be kind to your parents…” [Noble Quran 4:36] The mention of servitude to parents follows immediately after servitude to God. This is repeated throughout the Qur’an. “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, “My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.” [Noble Quran 17:23-24] The great scholar, Abu al-Faraj Ibn Al-Jawz (d. 1201CE) explained: To be kind to one’s parents is: to obey them when they order you to do something, unless it is something which Allah has forbidden; to give priority to their orders over voluntary acts of worship; to abstain from that which they forbid you to do; to provide for them; to serve them; to approach them with gentle humility and mercy; not to raise your voice in front of them; nor to fix your glance on them; nor to call them by their names; and to be patient with them. The Qur’an emphasizes the great struggles the mother goes through for her child, to highlight the need for one to reciprocate their parents sacrifice for them: “And We have enjoined on man [to be good] to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him and his weaning was over two years. Be thankful to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.”[Noble Quran 31:14] In connection to this, the late Grand Mufti of Pakistan, Shaykh Muhammad Shafy (d. 1976) wrote: Mother has more rights than father. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) continually used to remind his followers of the status of the mother and the obligation of being good to one’s parents. The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said in a famous narration: ‘Paradise lies at the feet of your mother’ [Musnad Ahmad, Sunan Ibn Majah] What can be greater evidence of honoring women than this? Islam has effectively placed the ultimate reward for human beings in their devotion to their mothers. Treat your mother with the best companionship, then your father; because paradise is under the mother’s feet. Never disobey your parents, nor make them angry, otherwise you will live a miserable life in this world and the hereafter, and your children will treat you likewise. Ask your parents gently if you need something. Always thank them if they give it to you, and excuse them if they do not, and never insist on a matter if they refuse to give you something. Shaykh Nidhaam Sakkijihaa comments: Cling to her feet means to submit yourself to her, be close to her, protect her, serve her because in this is Paradise and with her satisfaction you will enjoy the good blessings of Allah. (Sakkijihaa, Honoring the Parents, p. 52) The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) showed us the importance of serving one’s parents in the following narration reported by Abdullah Ibn Mas’ud: I asked the Prophet, ‘O Messenger of Allah, what is the best deed?’ He replied ‘Prayer offered on time.’ I asked, ‘What is next in goodness?’ He replied, ‘To be dutiful and kind to one’s parents.’ I further asked, ‘What is next in goodness?’ He replied, ‘Jihad in the Allah’s cause. [Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim] Just as the Prophet said that kindness to one’s parents was of the best deeds, he also said that disobedience to them was amongst the major sins: “The greatest sins are to associate partners in worship with Allah, to be undutiful or unkind to one’s parents, to kill a soul forbidden by Allah and to bear false witness.” [Sahih Bukhari] Even after the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him), the Muslim scholars continued to stress the importance of being dutiful to one’s mother. By examining the conduct and teachings of the early Muslim scholars, one may see how the direct recipients of the Islamic message understood the command to be dutiful to one’s parents. Their behavior towards their parents shows Muslims how one is to implement the teachings of the Prophet on honoring parents. An even more powerful example is found in the statement of another one of the Prophet’s companions, Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar (d. 692CE), who was also a great scholar of Islam. It has been related that: Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar saw a Yemeni man performing Tawaf (circumambulating the Ka’bah) while carrying his mother on his back. This man said to Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar, “I am like a tame camel for her! I have carried her more than she carried me. Do you think I have paid her back, O Ibn ‘Umar?” Abdullah Ibn ‘Umar replied, “No, not even one contraction!!” [Al-Adab al-Mufrad Bukhari 1/62] Subhan Allah (Glory be to God)! The efforts of a man who carries his mother on his back while performing tawaf cannot even repay his mother for a single contraction that she went through for him. Wise indeed was Ibn ‘Umar’s reply to this man to show him how massively indebted he was to his mother. This is the tremendous value and prestigious position of mothers in Islam! All of this indicates the high status to which Islam has raised the position of motherhood, and given the mother precedence over the father. At the same time, Islam has given importance to both parents, and has enjoined kindness and respect to both. (Al-Hashimi, The Ideal Muslimah, IIPH 2005, p. 167) Muslims are instructed to be kind, obedient and gentle to both parents. One should treat them with respect under all circumstances; obey them unless it is something that Allah (SWT) has forbidden. One should care for them in old age as they care for you as a child and give priority to their orders in all conditions.
No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed (Godfrey Winn)
The most amazing things about religion Islam is it gives mothers the highest position and commands children to be grateful, respectful, kind and obedience to their mothers. Mother’s rights are much more than father’s in religion Islam. There are many verses in the Holy Quran that shows the importance of mothers in the life of Muslims: Allah Almighty says in the Noble Quran regarding respect to parents in these words: “Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility and say, ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.’” (Quran 17:23-24) Mother’s status is much higher than father’s as stated in one of hadith of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (SAW): Once a man came to the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and said: “O Messenger of Allah! Who from amongst mankind warrants the best companionship from me?”He replied: “Your mother.” The man asked: “Then who?” So He (PBUH) replied: “Your mother.” The man then asked: “Then who?” So the Prophet (PBUH) replied again: “Your mother.” The man then asked: “Then who?” So He (SAW) replied: “Then your father.” (Bukhari) Narrated by Anas bin Malik (RA): The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said, “The biggest of Al-Kabeer (the great sins) are (1) to join others as partners in worship with A llah, (2) to murder a human being, (3) to be undutiful to one’s parents (4) and to make a false statement” (Bukhari) Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Quran: “We have enjoined on man and woman kindness to parents; but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not’” (Quran, 29:8) In another verse, Almighty Allah says: “We have enjoined on man and woman (to be good) to his/her parents; show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (thy final) Goal. If they (parents) strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)” (Quran, 31:14-15) The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother.” (Nasai) Narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr that: “during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan came to see her from Makah. Asma informed the Messenger of Allah Prophet (PBUH) of her arrival and also that she needed help. He (SAW) said: Be good to your mother.” (Muslim) The importance of serving one’s mother is more than Jihad as stated in hadith: A man came to Allah’s Messenger (SAW) and said: “O Messenger of Allah! I want to go out and fight (in Jihad) and I have come to ask your advice.” He (PBUH) said: “Do you have a mother?” He said: “Yes.” Prophet (PBUH) said: “Then stay with her, for Paradise is beneath her feet.” (Sunan Nisai) In short, always show gratitude towards your mother. Be kind to your mother and never express annoyance even if she is doing something annoying. Do not repel her, speak softly and pray for her. I conclude with a quote for those who have lost their mother, I cried endlessly when you died but I promise, I won’t let the tears mar the smiles that you’ve given me when you were alive. I know you are listening from above. There’s nothing that I value more than your love. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, your memories will always keep me smiling. “Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established.” [Quran: Surah Ibrahim, Verse 41]. May Allah give us the ability to understand and obey His command! Ameen!
(The authors write regularly on Islamic topics for “Kashmir Horizon exclusively. Views are their own)
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