Marriage is a principally an institution in which interpersonal relationship are acknowledged and sanctioned by way of formal agreement known as “Nikah” between the family of boys and girls and vice versa and is cultural universal. Above all, it is the one of the Sunnah of Prophet Mohammad (P.B.U.H). Keeping in view , the pleasant whether condition in Kashmir from June to September, most marriage ceremony dates are fixed in these months by the heads of family from either side through agreement document known as in common parlance ”Saath Naam”. Thus, plethora of fat marriage ceremonies are being celebrated in these months in our Kashmir valley. Although, Marriage is a auspicious occasion ought to be solemnize auspiciously without wasting money unnecessarily. Some like that marriage is to be as simple as possible, but, some like it is to be very grand manner because they feel that marriage is happen once in lifetime and would like to celebrate in a memorable manner. Hence spend hefty amount on their marriages, which is contrary to Shari’ah of Islam. As religious of Islam lay more emphases on extravagance. Allah Almighty says, “And (they are) those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever, between that, (justly) moderate.” (Al Furqan, 25:67) and our Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) said, “the most blessed marriage is the least expensive one.” So it clearly indicates that to adopt frugality while solemnizing the marriage so as to follow the teaching of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) and the prescribed tenets of Islam lay down in Holy Quran in letter and spirit. Consequently, pleasing the Allah and follow the teaching of Prophet Mohammad (SAW) on ground. But, it is regretted that society in general became self-centered and they really put the foot in their mouths by Indulging in wanton extravagance during the observation of marriages, which in turn compel the father, who, belongs to middle class to marry their marriageable son or marriageable daughter by hook or by crook. Right from deciding and covenant between Families of of opposite side for nuptial promise of their son or daughter , family members especially women, who, seems plays main role in this account, initiating the exercise of extravagance in one way or other way while visiting each other families during the prenuptial time and are planning to themselves from either side of family to celebrate the marriage ceremony of would be-groom and would be-bride on the scheduled date with great enthusiasm and fervor, keeping in mind tries to outdo from neighbours and relatives in such ceremony. In nutshell, means to spend lavish amount unnecessarily regardless of adverse effect of it upon society at large. Whether the family of either groom’s or bride’s side having capacity and efforts to celebrate the marriage ceremony at par with customary practice of extravagance in marriages or not. However, If, any one of them or both having capacity extraordinary then goes beyond the limit in terms of expenditure in organizing the such events for the sake of ostentation, maintain status in the society and please their evil conscience. Which in turn, subjected middle class family either to delay the marriage of their marriageable sons or daughters till fulfillment of requirements needed for solemnizing the fat marriages ceremony or has to avail the credit from nears and dears or any other financial institution and even sometimes has to sell the precious belongings such as own house, plot of land etc, in order to get their children marry in nick of time and defray the unnecessarily expenses incurred in connection with their marriage ceremony.
After culmination of ceremony, generally, it is the father of either groom or bride belongs to middle class, who, has to liquidate the loan through EMI for years not by whom he invited on the occasion of marriage. Middle class family thinks no way left except recourse to sink unnecessarily into indebtedness for celebrating the ceremony of their children extravagantly, so that after conclusion of invitation, the invitees may not tease and whispering each other that the feast was no up to the mark. Thus making the arrangement of such event by compulsion, desirable of invitees and pleasing them thereby saves from besmirching and taunting by the insatiate invitees. Unfortunately, it becomes the deeply rooted rites and customs of ignorance which is in vogue in our society, tantamount to epidemic spreading at fast speed. .Admittedly, after taking profligacy into consideration middle class family especially from bride’s side are the receiving end due to which it is being observed that there is alarming increase in number of marriageable boys in general and girls in particular in Kashmir. It becomes necessary to prevent such alarming scenario from panning out. Even some marriageable boys or girls, belongs to families who, lives from hand to mouth, foresee difficulties in managing the expenses for their marriage prefer to remain bachelor/ virgin. Despite the prohibition in Islam to, rather than their father may not compel to avail the credit or mortgage in order to marry them as per prevailing custom and tradition of extravagance in society of Kashmir. After dowry, the extravaganza in marriages is considered becomes a major obstacle to middle class family to take up matter of marriage of their son or daughter. Thinks unable to arrange the expenses for the marriage of their son or daughter. Extravaganza is pervasive in society of Kashmir thus, becomes the serious societal issues needs to ponder over it. Generally speaking, So far as extravagance in marriage and possession of wealth is concerned, responsibility lies upon wealthy family and that too particularly from groom’s side reduced to frugality in case of observance of Nikah So that middle class families may heave a sigh of relief and paving the way for marry their daughters. Who, were panting for greasing their palms with Henna (Mehandi) since years. So, wealthy family should stay away from extravagance and utilize the surplus money upon needy people. We, as society have to become sensible in a way to instill the morality and responsibility to get rid of dowry system and disavowing from extravagance. So, introspect and let’s take the pledge to solemnize the marriage with austerity as ordained in the Quran thereby please the Allah and saves the money for other judicial purposes.
( The author is a freelancer. Views are his own)
