Divorces with in a week, months and even after 30 -40 years of marriage seems common nowadays. Kashmir and its society is not alien to it. In India and globally we have witnessed divorces in marriages as old as 30-40 years. Classical examples include divorces in marriages of A. R Rehman (singer-composer) of Hindi cinema, Bill gates (worlds one of the richest human being), and Shiekh Maktoum (King of Dubai) etc. As per Islamic laws, divorce is neither a bad deed nor a sin, but is aleast liked act. Divorces indicate that relationships are as weak as a cotton thread that can be ripped into two easily. Relationships at the same time can be as stronger as a diamond if the individuals in a relationship (marriage especially) nurture it in a way it demands. World around you is beautiful only when you are in a marriage that can withstand any pressure exerted by your families, parents, friends or society at large. Recent tragic events have cast a spotlight on the fragility of human relationships and the devastating consequences when foundational elements are missing. In Bengaluru, a 38-year-old software consultant and his wife died by suicide after allegedly poisoning their two children, a tragedy attributed to financial pressures and emotional stress. Similarly, the high-profile divorce of Dubai’s Princess Haya from Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, culminating in a settlement exceeding £550 million, underscores the complexities and failures that can beset marital relationships. So, what are the foundations of a strong, enduring bond? At the heart of every thriving relationship lie four pillars, these are, respect, love, friendship and romance. Rooted in universal values and Islamic principles, these pillars not only nurture healthy marriages but also ripple outward to build stronger families and, by extension, healthier societies. Respect is the cornerstone of every meaningful connection. The Quran commands, “Live with them in kindness” (Surah An-Nisa, 4:19), emphasizing that mutual respect is a divine obligation. In marriage respect means valuing each other’s individuality, listening without judgment, and preserving each other’s dignity. Respect goes beyond the couple. When parents demonstrate respect in their relationship, they set a powerful example for their children, teaching them the value of equality, empathy, and understanding. This principle, when internalized, leads to a society where individuals prioritize harmony over hostility.
“Respect fosters equality, friendship builds trust, love inspires kindness, and romance rekindles joy. Together, these pillars ensure that relationships not only endure but flourish; creating a ripple effect of positivity that strengthens entire communities. In a time when relationships are increasingly treated as disposable, these four pillars offer a timeless blueprint for building sanctity and purpose of meaningful relationships.”
Marriage is not merely a contract but a partnership built on companionship. The Quran describes spouses as garments for one another (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:187), symbolizing intimacy and mutual protection. Friendship strengthens this partnership by fostering trust and camaraderie.A marriage built on friendship thrives on shared laughter, mutual support, and a sense of safety. When couples are friends first, they face challenges as allies rather than adversaries. Children who grow up witnessing such a relationship understand that true partnerships are built on trust and companionship, values they carry into their adult lives and communities. Love, as described in the Quran, is a bond of mawaddah (affection) and rahmah (mercy) (Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21). It is not just an emotion but an enduring commitment to care and kindness.In a loving relationship, even small gestures—a word of encouragement, a silent prayer for one another, or thoughtful acts—strengthen the bond. This love creates emotionally secure families, where children grow up understanding that love is not fleeting but steadfast and sacrificial. Romance often gets dismissed as frivolous, but it plays a crucial role in keeping relationships vibrant. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) demonstrated affection and tenderness toward his wives, showing that romance within halal boundaries is both permissible and encouraged.Romance doesn’t require grand gestures; it thrives in the little things—an unexpected compliment, a shared moment of joy, or even the effort to make each other feel cherished. A romantic bond ensures that love remains dynamic, not stagnant, even after decades together.
The Ripple Effects: When respect, love, friendship and romance come together, they don’t just create strong marriages—they transform families into sanctuaries of love and stability. These sanctuaries, in turn, form the backbone of a healthy, compassionate society. Respect fosters equality, friendship builds trust, love inspires kindness, and romance rekindles joy. Together, these pillars ensure that relationships not only endure but flourish; creating a ripple effect of positivity that strengthens entire communities. In a time when relationships are increasingly treated as disposable, these four pillars offer a timeless blueprint for building sanctity and purpose of meaningful relationships.
(The author is a teacher at Govt Degree College Khansahib, Budgam. The views, opinions and conclusions expressed in this article are those of the author and aren’t necessarily in accord with the views of “Kashmir Horizon”)
Dr. Ashraf Zainabi
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