“The social consequences of dowry and expensive weddings are not only economic but also psychological. Families live under constant pressure, trying to meet expectations that are beyond their means.”
The practice of dowry and lavish weddings in Kashmir has become a growing menace, leading to a significant rise in the number of unmarried youth. Once considered a gift or a token of love, dowry has now transformed into a societal expectation that places immense financial burdens on families. As a result, many young men and women remain unmarried, trapped in the social web of expectations that go beyond mere union and happiness. This issue requires urgent attention and societal reform to ensure the youth of Kashmir can marry without financial pressure. The tradition of dowry in Kashmir has deep historical roots, but over time, it has escalated into an oppressive practice. Grooms’ families often demand large sums of money, expensive jewelry, and lavish gifts, which most brides’ families cannot afford. The situation is exacerbated by the pressure to host extravagant weddings, often spanning several days, with numerous ceremonies and a large number of guests. This compels families to take on debts, sell property, or exhaust their life savings just to meet the expectations of society. For many families, these financial pressures are unbearable. A large number of youth remain unmarried simply because their families cannot afford the dowry or the expense of a lavish wedding. Young women, in particular, bear the brunt of this practice. They are often viewed as financial liabilities rather than individuals with potential to contribute to their families and society. On the other hand, men who refuse dowry are rare, and when they do, they are often seen as exceptions rather than the norm, indicating the deep entrenchment of dowry culture in Kashmir. The social consequences of dowry and expensive weddings are not only economic but also psychological. Families live under constant pressure, trying to meet expectations that are beyond their means. This leads to anxiety, depression, and a growing sense of frustration among both parents and youth. Many young men, who do not subscribe to these traditions, find it difficult to challenge the norms and are often left disillusioned with the idea of marriage altogether. To address this growing problem, there is a dire need for community-led reform.
“The dowry system and the culture of extravagant weddings have become a significant roadblock for many young people in Kashmir who wish to get married. It is time for society to collectively reject these outdated and harmful practices. Dowry-free marriages and simple weddings should be encouraged, not only as a matter of economic relief but also as a step toward creating a more just, equitable, and compassionate society.”
Religious and social leaders in Kashmir have a crucial role to play in changing the narrative around dowry and weddings. By promoting dowry-free marriages and simpler wedding ceremonies, these leaders can help shift public perception. The local clergy and community heads must emphasize that marriage is a sacred bond between two individuals, not a transaction between two families. Encouraging smaller, simpler weddings would relieve the financial burden on families and allow more young people to marry without the fear of financial ruin. Additionally, civil society organizations can contribute by raising awareness about the harmful effects of dowry and lavish weddings. Campaigns that highlight successful dowry-free marriages and promote the idea of love and companionship over material wealth can have a far-reaching impact. These organizations should work closely with families, especially in rural areas, to break the cycle of dowry dependence. In conclusion, the dowry system and the culture of extravagant weddings have become a significant roadblock for many young people in Kashmir who wish to get married. It is time for society to collectively reject these outdated and harmful practices. Dowry-free marriages and simple weddings should be encouraged, not only as a matter of economic relief but also as a step toward creating a more just, equitable, and compassionate society. By embracing change and reform, Kashmir can ensure that marriage is about unity and love, not financial transactions and societal burdens.
Irfan Rashid Khan
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