“Listen to your elder’s advice. Not because they are always right but because they have more experiences of being wrong.” – Melchor Lim
Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-‘As: The Prophet said: Those who do not show mercy to our young ones and do not realize the right of our elders are not from us (Sunan Abu Dawud). Elders are very important for their symbolic connection to the past, and for their knowledge of traditional ways, teachings, stories and ceremonies. They traditionally hold crucial roles in supporting both formal and informal education in First Nations communities. They impart tradition, knowledge, culture, values, and lessons using orality and role modeling traditional practices. Every religion of the world guides to respect and take care of elders as they very precious for family, society as well as for nation. Islam teaches us to show affection towards those who are younger than us and have lower rank and status than us. It also teaches us to show respect to those who are older than us, more knowledgeable than us and possess a higher rank and status than us. Almost every day, we surely contact and communicate with our elders. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) says: “He isn’t of us who isn’t kind to our youngsters, and shows no respect to our elders…” To grow old is rightly said to pass from passion to compassion. In the words of a Western scholar, “About the only good thing you can say about old-age is that it is better than being dead!’” Hence, in a society where elders aren’t respected and properly looked after, the social fabric will tear apart. The edifice of Islam stands on the foundation of virtues which are concerned in relation to: society and God. The former class embraces habits, and the latter comprises different forms of worship. Paying respect to elders falls within the first category of virtues afore mentioned. Islam attaches so much importance to it that it is equated with glorifying the Almighty Allah. Prophet Muhammad (SAW) is reported to have said: “Of the glorification of Allah, certainly it is the honor shown to an old Muslim, the bearer of the Qur’an (by heart) without treachery therein and keeping aloof from it: and the honor shown to a just king.” From the above tradition, it follows that to honor an old-man, is to honor Islam; to honor a reciter of the Qur’an by heart (Hafiz) is to honor the Holy Qur’an; and to honor a just king is to honor justice. So, practically honor is shown because of their traits and not their physical selves. This world is a preparatory ground for the next world. It is here that one has to attain perfection in order to realize the mission of his existence. However, he cannot achieve perfection except through his interaction with society, that is, by living with other human beings of all ages. Knowledge, wisdom, experience and observation are the attributes of old-age. Before a human being gets completely senile, he is possessed with these qualities which in fact is testified by the following Qur’anic Verse: “It is Allah who creates you, then makes you die; and some reach the age of dotage, so that having acquired knowledge they don’t know a thing. Allah is indeed All-Knowing and All-Mighty.” (16:70) The contents of Surah Luqman in the holy Qur’an clearly shows the knowledge and wisdom of the elderly people. Wisdom of the elderly is universally recognized. H. I. Hayakawa asserted: “There is only one thing that age can give you, and that is, Wisdom.” Hazrat Ali (R.A) maintained: “The advice of old-men is dearer than the bravery of young men.” Therefore, in the first place, it is this distinction (of wisdom), which makes the elderly among us worthy of reverence. Anas (R.A) reports from the Holy Prophet (SAW), as saying: “If a young man shows respect to an old-man on account of his old-age, Allah will create for him at his old-age someone who will show him respect, too.” Our elders’ include parents, paternal and maternal uncles, elder siblings, other relatives, teachers, spiritual guide, scholars & Mashaaikh and all those who are honourable and have a greater status and position than us. Allah (swt) has said in Surah Bani Israel, part 15, Ayah 23 to 24: Translation from Kanz-ul-Iman: Treat your parents with goodness; if either of them or both reach old age in your presence, do not say ‘uff’ (any expression of disgust) to them and do not chide them, and speak to them with respect. And spread for them the arms of humility with tender heart, and say, ‘My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they brought me up when I was a child.’ (Part 15, Surah Bani Israel, Ayah 23-24) When your parents have grown weak and have lost strength and health – as you were weak and powerless in your childhood – so you do not even say ‘uff’ to them; nor any other word indicating that you consider them to be a burden. And do not rebuke them and talk to them gracefully, politely and kindly. (Khaazin vol. 3, pp. 170-172; Siraat-ul-Jinaan, pp. 443) Great rewards have been promised for those who perform their duties towards parents in a befitting manner. There are only three things in the world just a loving sight of which begets Allah’s pleasure to a true believer, viz.: The Holy Ka’bah, the Holy Qur’an and parents. In the words of Prophet Muhammad (SAW): “No dutiful man gives his parents a kind look without Allah recording to his credit an approved pilgrimage for every look.” Our Beloved Rasool (pbuh) has ordered us to show respect and reverence towards elders. Blessed saying of the Beloved Rasool (pbuh): Show respect and reverence towards the elders and have mercy upon the young ones, you will attain my company in Jannah. (Shu’ab-ul-Iman, vol. 7, pp. 458, Hadees 10981) It shows that respecting the elders is a means of getting salvation and the [blessed] company of the Beloved Rasool (pbuh) in Jannah. How deep respect our pious predecessors would show towards their elders! Sayyiduna Ba-Yazeed Bistami (RA) said, ‘During a very cold night, my mother asked me to bring water. I went to bring a glass of water but she had fallen asleep when I came. I did not feel it appropriate to wake her up. Therefore, I stood near her holding the glass of water and waiting for her to wake up so that I would present it to her. I stood for quite a while. Meantime, some water spilled over my finger and froze, turning into ice. When my mother woke up, I presented her the glass of water. My finger had adhered to the glass because of ice. As I detached my finger from the glass, its skin came off, causing bleeding. Seeing it, my mother asked, ‘What is this?’ I told her the whole story. Listening to it, she raised her hands and made Du’a, ‘O Allah (swt) I am pleased with him. You also get pleased with him.’ (Nuzha-tul-Majalis, vol. 1, pp. 261) Remember! In old age, parents act like children. Sometimes, extremely old parents wet and defecate in bed, usually causing the offspring to get deeply upset. But remember that it is obligatory for offspring to serve their parents even in this condition. Look! The mother also looks after her child and keeps him clean from dirt and filth especially in his childhood after urination and defecation. Therefore, even if they get extremely peevish [i.e. easily annoyed] and quarrelsome due to their old age and diseases, you still have to be patient, patient and nothing but patient with them, treating them with respect. Do not even say ‘uff’ to them, let alone being rude to them and shouting at them or else you may suffer a great loss, meeting doom in the world and in the Hereafter. Sometimes the one who hurts the feelings of his parents is humiliated and disgraced in the world and deserves torment of hellfire. The rights of parents don’t end even after their death. Once a man of the tribe Banu Salemah came to the Holy Prophet Muhammad (SAW) and asked him if there were any rights of parents after their demise. “Yes,” the Prophet replied and advised him to pray for them seeking forgiveness for them, to fulfill their instructions after their death, to keep affinity with those who aren’t connected except through parents and to respect their friends?
(“Blessings are with your elders.”, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Ibn Ḥibbān 559)
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