Few days back a video went viral on social media wherein a reception of a Baraat was being hosted and the host in a stance that is quite unusual had mounted heaps of meat preparations for the guests. The guests had to cut through the platter or the ‘Trami’ and this display of extravagance had irritated most of the social media users. Though spending lavishly and preparing a long list of dishes during marriages has been a dominant practice in Kashmir since the past two to three decades but the brazen display or floundering wealth so openly was never before witnessed before. Therefore, the incident provoked many among the society to come out and raise their objections. Ironically, such incidences have been witnessed several times and the malice that has affected our social intercourse has been in vogue for many years now. Using variety of juices, dry fruits and later a heavy meal to satisfy the ego of the guests and the host rather that their need for food has become quite common and those who raise objections to such practices are labeled as cheap and downtrodden in every sense. The incident though quite unusual will haunt many of us for few more weeks or months and since public memory is short lived, the incident and its memories will wane away till another such example comes to the fore. One would also like to remind here that the incident we are talking about came to limelight as someone video graphed it and put it on social media. This incident came up for discussion since it was reported in one or the other way. There are numerous other incidents where no mention of these ‘social rule book’ violations are reported and hence they go unnoticed.
The issue which we need to take up for discussion is that should we as a society accept this violation and take it in our stride or we need to rectify such brazen violations as we claim to be Muslims and Hindu and followers of the greatest personality Prophet Mohammad-PBUH and Ram Chander who lived the most simplified life Secondly, we are also well aware about the financial condition of many among us and how our daughters and sisters who have achieved marriageable age are waiting for getting married but lack of resources on the part of their parents or guardians is creating a road blocks for their marriages.
Writing about this incident and the fallout it can have seems pretty awkward because it seems that the claims that we make about being an awakened nation and a learned lot falls flat on ground. The writing on the wall is that we have failed individually and collectively as well to act and emerge as a learned and evolved society. We always want to create excuses to escape any responsibility and the case here we are discussing is a perfect example of this. Why do we need to look towards the government or the administration every time? Why can’t we enforce social restrictions that are enforced on the hosts, guests and the cooks (waaza) who form an important component in this entire social exercise? Why can’t we as a leaned lot evolve with a uniform and a standard menu for all so that no such social divide is created between the people and they are divided on the patter of the have’s and the have-not’s. Where have our religious scholars vanished or they too have become part of the plot that seems to feed their ill wanted desires.
(The author is EVS Lecturer at Govt Higher Secondary School Khellani Doda. Views are his own)
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