While all of us long for certain things in life which we consider to be of extreme significance to add value to our lives, “marriage” is one among such things which not only gives a sense of contentment but also completes half of our faith. It is a blessed one and the only means to keep the continuity of the race in practice. While the earlier generations kept this ceremony simple and relied more over its significance by reiterating on its different aspects and their roles in shaping the relationship of the newly wedded ones, the case is different for some, at present. They mainly focused on its meaning, rather than other insignificant things and thus, guided their children to the path of righteousness which sanctified their married lives. Their outlook was realistic and had absolutely no room for unscrupulous elements. With the time, marriage ceremonies have undergone massive evolution and the customs and rituals currently in practice have developed beyond belief. What used to be in the past finds few takers in the contemporary time. Without any doubt, marriage ceremonies have always been looked forward to, by everyone, but the centre of attraction has changed a bit, now a days. From visiting the place to bestow the family with blessings, people now throng these ceremonies for their pomp and show in addition to relinquish the feast, which used to exist earlier also, but now new additions have managed to get into the list. With all the incredible add-ons which we have enriched the marriage ceremonies with, we seem to have prioritized other things over the essence to understand the importance of this ceremony. We don’t give that much interest in sensitizing our children about its religious, legal and societal implications as well as the attributes which they need to acquire to live a happy and prosperous married life which is unfortunately evident by the marital discord cases in the society. Marriage, as they say is the union of two souls but what remains the point to ponder is whether the bride and groom who are entering this sacred institution have understood their responsibilities in the most appropriate way so, that they can start their new journey and build a successful foundation of this relationship without any prejudices. Unfortunately many of us have set various dimensions to come to the decision of selecting a mate for ourselves, which many a times prove to be a major hurdle in obtaining the divine blessings of this ceremony. No doubt when it comes to marriage, everyone has a say, as per their experience and their understanding of relationships which further complicates it and makes it difficult to evaluate.
Ironically we seem to validate everything but the maturity of thoughts, of, to be partners, is sometimes overlooked. This results in a complete mismatch and the association thus, formed is prone to setbacks on account of varying aspirations. A good economic condition doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage but a good understanding about the quintessence of a marriage, does. Quite a few times it has been witnessed that those who are well settled are hesitant to marry but due to peer pressure, they chose to do so. Being unclear in their resolution, they only invite surprises, not necessarily pleasant ones. Whatever the case may be, it is the duty of parents to make sure that their children are fully mature to get into the wedlock so, that they don’t have to suffer later on. The importance of parental guidance is second to none. Parents have to be the role models for their children so that they could observe and learn from their actions. We need to invest more on inculcating values in our children so, that they grow up to be more humane in their approach. Spending lavishly may be of less help but effective upbringing won’t disappoint at any time for it enlightens one’s insight and makes a person more sensible in life. There should not be any communication barriers between parents and children so far as marriage is concerned, as it is the matter of lives of the persons involved and the outcome should be viable by all means. Having said that it is also worth to mention that the partners also need to realize that, they have a primary role to play. They need to keep improvising and work on their shortcomings without feeling dismayed. No doubt, misunderstandings may arise, but there is always a solution to get over rather than getting annoyed and taking any wrong steps. Marriages not only unite two persons but their entire families come together to share a special bond which may have different backgrounds but their association is unique. This too necessitates that the partners be mature enough to appreciate each other’s families rather than giving priority to theirs. We have downgraded the relationships to suit our ulterior motives. We are more concerned with our benefits rather than upholding the sanctity of the relationships. We all are in this together. Partners need to think of ways and means to please each other rather than highlighting the shortcomings and be remorseful of their wedlock. It is their duty to make this relationship beautiful by their perseverance, love and care for each other. They should be united in their approach to live a purposeful life and make their home a happy one. Both of them should have clarity of thought and should strive to please, encourage and support each other in good or bad times. Marriage is a sacred institution which may bring heavenly effects if it is a blissful one and it is our responsibility to make it such by aligning ourselves to receive such bounties through our patience and commitment. It is incumbent upon us to uphold its sanctity by all means as it is our collective duty.
P.S – This relationship may be as delicate as a flower but at the same moment it is also fragrant and beautiful. Appreciating each other allows this relationship to bloom and makes way for a more delightful experience. The need is to accept this relationship with heart and soul and let the magic of love do wonders. Let the morals and ethical principles guide our way.
(The author is a freelancer. Views are his own)
Self-transcendence in poems of Dhiman Barman: A Critical Reading
Abhijit Choudhury
Dhiman Barman, a young face of Assamese literature, gets Kabya Kanan Award for his poetry book entitled Romonyasbador Antim Drishyat. His poems are publishing in reputed journals of Assam as well as in other renowned journals of India. The winner of Sahitya Akademi Award , Harekrishna Deka, already critiques that a subtle mind can only understand the poems of the concerned poet due to his juxtaposition of reality with ensuing reality. Self- transcendence is a philosophical term in a sense, which reflects an individual’s mingle with some celestial elements. Dhiman Barman’s newly published book Mori Jabooto Paro ( We May Even Die) lights the poet’s excessive mental stress for fulfilling something. It also makes a conflict between life that is full of amazement and hackneyed struggles for which the perception of life becomes tainted. His poetry collection We May Even Die is chiefly an irradiation of a journey towards eternity through which the poet wants to locate himself in the same society. Some poems question upon the existence of people in this hurly burly society. His most notable poem , ‘We May Even Die’ is an elaboration of the inevitability of death; which is universal and inexorable. The poem also depicts the poet’s elation to survive in this earth . It galvanizes the demolition of death , which sweeps away the vibrant dream of people. On the other hand, it also establishes that death raises to bestow a space for another man.
Death means an empty place
Another will come to fill
Left out places
Dhiman Barman’s poems are also based upon the truth incidences and above all, his writings are the contemplation of the vices in society.
This poem consoles the readers that death means an arrival of a new one. No one can keep death in his/her hand. But the poet superimposes that the concept of death is indispensable for the growth of new roots in a society .Another poem of the poet i.e. ‘Flowing water’ illustrates the debasement of society. The poet mentions the bizarre condition of society . This poem mainly irradiates the acceleration of time and how time destroys the humanity and generosity from people that is perspicuously illuminated. The poet states in this poem that people are unable to see their faces in this tumultuous world .This statement seems to assert the poet’s inability to unite with the people of the same society. The poet uses the metaphor of mirror to showcase the materialistic tendency of people wherein people are unable to see themselves from the core of their heart in a mirror. This conception asserts the poet’s transcendence from a normal human being into a critic. He criticizes himself in most of his poems. Virtually, Barman’s poems are Clearly a critique upon his own self and expose the behaviors of human society by keeping himself away in his poems at the same time. Dhiman Barman’s poems are self-reflective. In his another poem entitled ‘Destiny is thief’ delineates that people inhabit in this mortal land to merge with the earth. The poet basically wants to disclose the cruelty of the creator. In the middle of the poem , the poet acknowledges that no one can hide from death. But, people must enjoy their lives instead of knowing the terror of death. The poems of Dhiman Barman are apparently too simple but the meaning of those poems are very depth like that of Rainer Maria Rilke. In ‘poem of Love’ , the concerned poet resembles his beloved into a sip of a cup of tea, which emphasizes the poet’s unfulfilled love .The poem also declares the deterioration of human bonding with the passage of time.
Wait for your kiss
Freezing with time
I am a cup of cheap tea.
Some of his poems also mirror the abundant beauty of nature. His poems go beyond and make a relationship between beauty with the ugliness of society. Another notable poet of Assamese Literature, Nilamoni Phookan also showcases the same incidences in some of his poems by using natural objects. It creates a kind of tussle in the minds of reader to understand because of its resemblance of nature with the cruelty of people .Dhiman Barman’s poems are also based upon the truth incidences and above all, his writings are the contemplation of the vices in society. It is ratified that Dhiman Barman’s usage of literary devices and techniques conveys his meaning of acquiring spirituality and the dichotomy of beauty versus redemption.
(The author is a freelancer from Asam and has mailed this article to “Kashmir Horizon” for publication in this newspaper. Views are his own)
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