Alarming Rise In Late Marriages In Kashmir Valley: A Burning Problem

Marriage is one of the basic and primary institutions that exists in every society .As per islam, Marriage is a legal contract between a man and woman on the basis of their free will and where both enjoy equal rights and duties. Marriage is a very beautiful bond and magnetic relation that cements organic love between the couple. It accelerates mutual respect, selflessness and forgiving factors between the couple. Marriage is such a relationship between the people of two opposite sexes that helps in satisfaction of physical, biological, social, psychological and spiritual needs. It leads to the foundation of family and the procreation of children.
Due to westernization and materialistic greed among the people, many evils have evolved in a society for the past many years and one such evil is is the late marriages. Its rate is increasing at a very high pace in Kashmir valley and thousands of girls in the Kashmir valley have crossed the marriageable ages and have become liabilities on their parents. A survey was conducted by Tehreek e Fala-Ul-Muslimeen, a non-profit, non-political organization in April 2020. The survey revealed that more than 50,000 girls in Kashmir have crossed ideal marriageable ages. Amid lockdowns for the past three years, the number of girls crossed marriageable ages would be now more than 70 thousands due to surging unemployment, inflation, loss of jobs, business, economy, etc. The reasons for crossing marriageable ages among girls are poverty, Dowry, unemployment, caste system, conflict, extravagant weddings, etc. Poverty is one of the many factors that slowdowns the pace and prospect of marriage proposals. Due to poverty, the poor families can not afford to give dowry that becomes the potent factor on way of marriage proposals among girls of the poor families. In majority of cases, the poor girls families are selling their lands to others in order to pay dowry to grooms and and their families. Failure of paying dowry by the daughters in law have to face cruelty in various forms like divorce, domestic violence, dowry deaths, strangulation etc by the hands of in laws that Kashmir valley has been witnessing at an alarming rate. Dowry is a big curse and grave issue as it has ruined thousands of families in the valley. Compulsive and competitive social customs associated with marriages have converted marriage into a complex and costly affair that is sending chill down the spine among the middle and lower class families.
Many families are not getting their girls married at a proper time as they put weird conditions like caste, income, academic qualification, family background, earning capacity, religious sect etc. There has been increasing spendthrifts in marriages particularly in kashmir valley. Lakhs of rupees are being spent on unnecessary things like wazwan, sweets, gifts, and clothes etc that are making marriages most expensive and difficult. Expensive marriages have made the Nikah very difficult and evils like illicit relationships, adultery, unwed pregnancies very easy in contemporary societies. Extravagant spendthrifts have created anxiety and tensions particularly among the middle and lower middle class families . Thousands of girls in Kashmir valley are eagerly waiting for marriages. they are worst sufferers and they want satisfaction of physical, biological, social, psychological and spiritual needs. But irony is that unnecessary traditions like hefty Dowry, lavish grand feasts etc have been created in societies that frighten girls parents and that is why birth of a female child haunts the nerves a patriarchal father that could be the one of the reasons of declining sex ratio in Kashmir valley. Many girls do not want to be married in Joint families. It has become so problematic and leads to late marriages besides persuing higher education and looking for employments by the girls are other reasons that lead to delaying marriages of girls at appropriate age.
During Covid 19 pandemic lockdowns, extravagant marriage expenditures have been reduced to more extent that brought a sigh of relief to girls parents. During these days, Simple marriages are taking place all across the kashmir valley not due to change in attitude of wedding families but due to covid 19 lockdown measures of the government and economic reasons of the families. The detrimental consequences of late marriages are multi-faceted. Be it physical health, mental health, familial and social relationships. Late marriages cause insomnia, anxiety, depressions, decline fertility rate and increase birth defects to children born to late married couples, reproductive tract infection, irregular ovum production, menstrual irregularities and menopause. Among these threats, the menopause adds more to the woes of girls that causes more mental agony and pain and is unbearable that cannot be relieved. To save our girls from late marriages and unwedding, several constructive steps are to be needed. First and foremost is the education and awareness of people by religious clerics regarding importance of simple marriages that can be effective in promoting simple marriages with austerity? Dowry a social evil, it needs to be eradicated in a society and can be eradicated by strict implementation of Dowry prohibition act 1961 and change of patriarchal mindsets of people. promote simple marriages in a society and good bye unnecessary social customs like extravagant marriage expenditures, lavish grand feasts, costly gifts etc. The government should create more employment opportunities for the youth and must also launch special poverty eradication programs on war footing basis. Organizing mass marriages by the NGO’S and financial assistance for the poor families can also prove very effective in preventing late marriages.
Let us pledge, welcome and appreciate simple marriages of girls and shun silly customs and traditions associated with marriages so that girls can get married at appropriate age and evils of late marriages can be eradicated in a society.
(The author is a teacher at Boys Higher Secondary School Beerwah . Views are his own)
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