“The aim of the wise is not to secure pleasure, but to avoid pain” Aristotle.
I received the call at 12:45 am. Unusual timing? Not so unusual though. A good time for close friends to call each other. This call had not cries and sobs. I felt he wanted to put out his heart to me to get relief. I didn’t do anything just kept replying to him. Well you know today he spoke about some old memories the person had who’s in grave now. Btw today he was annoyed with some episode that took place. And whole day he had mood off. I am not coming to any conclusion by myself but this is all what the person told me. In between all this, I was trying to comfort him. He spoke to me about so many things which made me laugh but I know there are times ahead when phone calls are going to be full of crying and sobing. And while the person will be doing that I might be dying 100 deaths . Well I don’t care dying as many as deaths I have to for him. We even spoke about the plan of birthday that’s coming up. While we were doing that ,he told me how that lost person used to celebrate his birthday while he had no friends except of few from locality. He told me how the person he lost used to bring cake, rasgullas, samosas and other stuff. So this person I am speaking about lost someone who made person’s birthdays special when no one was around. Lost person was his childhood friend and support. Then when he had friends and it used to be his birthday how the person he lost used to give money that too good amout of money to celebrate with the friends. When I spoke to the him. He wasn’t ready to speak about birthday because he didn’t find any sort of excitement of this year’s birthday.
Some situations are really bad to handle especially when you are at the place when the damage caused is irreparable. We just have one thing to say “Have strength” , even when we know having strength is really said than done. This continuing pain kills you more than the person who had come to you knowing that you will help him with the pain but you yourself have no way out.
The reason being lost person took away with him to grave. But I was determined to get out the excitement as I got it out, the person just started to repart how lost person used to make birthday rememberable. But I was able to get out some good memories that made person laugh and that satisfied me to some extent. But it was short lived because at point lost person’s memories will make person cry again. Well remember mentioning mood being off it was because someone used some words they were just the words that came out out of care but the way wasn’t as it should have been. People need to be polite to person who lost someone very valuable. I somehow asked the person to be strong for all this, as this is something that happens. I couldn’t be telling that person to fight back or it could make things worse . And making things worse will be something really stupid to make that person do. In all he told me ” As if I ( the person) feels that their is someone hugging whom will make me happy and my desire to cry will vanish”. Well I hope the person meets this someone really quickly. So that even I see who this someone is and especially person’s sorrows and pains get away. Another call came. But not crying insted full of heart broken unsaid words. He was trying to sleep but couldn’t. What kept him awake, is the memories of his father. The memories were both good and bad but they were memories and they haunted. The bad memories haunt generally but when the moments that made you smile haunt you the pain is different and it hurts like anything. But every thought what happens to the person to whom this is narrated to? What happens to him? Well none can assume the miserable time that a person who is being narrated to goes through until you be in the boots. Because it’s you up to whom the person looks to, for some relief . But when you yourself fall out of words and know that this has no way out you got nothing to do other than maintaining the miserable silence that speaks volumes, and unfortunately that silence is itself broken by the sigh of pain from the person who has come for help. Some situations are really bad to handle especially when you are at the place when the damage caused is irreparable. We just have one thing to say “Have strength” , even when we know having strength is really said than done. This continuing pain kills you more than the person who had come to you knowing that you will help him with the pain but you yourself have no way out. Unfortunately the person remains alone to deal with the pain and it keeps breaking him.
“You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens” Rumi
“We cannot learn without pain” Aristotle.
(The author is a freelancer and frequently writes for “The Kashmir Horizon”. Views are his own)
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